A Little Clarification

08 Mar

I am doing really well with my Lenten penance and the whole no meat thing is going splendid. However, those around me will have a different opinion. Apparently, I seem to me moodier than usual and prone to snapping for no possible rational reason. Whatever!!!! I am fine. So what if a man cutting me off in traffic evoked a response bordering on road rage (I am still going to hunt down that bastard) or a comment  such as "How are you" gets a death stare? These things aren’t knew in my eyes.
I already loathe people who ask me about my day or if I am having a good day. Jeez man?? It’s work. If I had time to answer these questions I would be on the road sellng shower caps for one dollar or something. Work is Hell!!  After a long day at the office the last thing i want to hear is "So How was your day?". I prefer to retire to my room and just relax. Social conversation at this point is futile and bordering on insubordination to the rule established by "The Gospel According to Stefan"(TGATS).
Here are some simple tenets from the TGATS:

1. We’ll get along fine as soon as you realise that I am God

2. Focus on me. Focus on me (dont bother me with your problems…I am the important ONE here)

3. No Touching. Unless you get expressed permission from me, there is to be no physical contact. You can  speak to me without making contact.

4. Maintain distance. Personal Space Infringement (PSI) is a serious offense. PSI means you are about to violate rule 3.

5. Do not question my whereabouts? Only the Holy Mamee can do that and she doesn’t ask. So know that you are out of place.


I think these should give you the general theme here. It is amazing how many people seem to violate these simple rules (especially family) with their assumptions that I need a hug or some form of human contact. One will be informed when contact is necessary or even appropriate.


But I have  digressed……. My apparent meat deprivation is playing havoc on my ability to tolerate nonsense and the supplements that i have been taking to combat it seem not to be working.  I am however determined not to let this thing beat me. So what if a few humans get an unnecessary death glance for calling me "Steven" or spellng my name wrong? These things happen. Please know that while my face may signal that harm is around the corner, I am not a violent person and therefore you are safe. I will remove myself from your presence if the situation warrants it. Of course, if you take the initiative and vacate my space, then your blessings are guaranteed in the near future. Trust Me on that.


Oooh yesterday for the first time in a long time, i saw someone that i found really attractive and all i could do was blush like a real idiot. In the midst of speaking to me, I started to laugh and grin like a teenager. She didn’t notice or pretended not to notice (she is a prima donna and lives by her own gospel "I am beautiful, all men must fight for me").  Her gospel, while based along similar lines, conflicts with my word being law, so that avenue cannot be explored. Plus after our conversation, she seemed to have forgotten my name two minutes later. Strange??? She knew it during carnival well enough to call me for a ride when she was stranded??  Tsk Tsk. I may find your aura irresistible but my focus will always be "Me" and therefore my infatuation will pass like a "fart".  *snicker*snicker*


Anyway, all I am asking is for a little sympathy as I deal with my meat withdrawal symptoms. They are almost under control.  On a good note, I think that I am losing weight as a result, not "The Biggest Loser Type" weight but small amounts.  When i finally weigh myself, I will let you know. Well not really…..


1 Comment

Posted by on March 8, 2006 in Uncategorized


One response to “A Little Clarification

  1. Matthew

    March 11, 2006 at 03:50

    The gospel according to Stefan!!!????
    I think the meat withdrawl is affecting your brain….you are turning into me…..8 years ago!!!!
 the way…anyone who forgets your name…has got to go…point blank…no discussion required.


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