Fumbling Through…Sports

13 Mar

I have never been nor proported to be an athlete. I would never even call myself an avid sports fan nor just a lover of sports.  These are things that i am not and will never pretend to be.  The Reason for my indifference to sports???? Awkwardness and downright dislike of exercise. The clumsiness factor is the root cause of the dislike. Theaffliction does not extend only to sports but just in general life. Most of my friends can attest to moments where they cannot understand how someone like me could just trip and fall over or just simply bounce into something/someone witohut notice or circumstance. These phenomena still boggle my mind as I am unable to explain them one any level whatsoever.
I make this point as I have recently re-started learning to play tennis and I am encountering the ugly head of clumsiness on a more frequent basis. Imagine learning  to play a game with teenagers around you and you try to pick up a ball and all of a sudden you step on it and almost fall over. Now if that incident happened once it would be fine but it happens almost every weekend when i play. It has gotten so bad that i slow down my steps towards the ball and try to pick it up using my racket. Simple enough, isn’t it? No i hit the ball with the racket and in the process cause the ball to move further away from me and therefore not achieve the bounce i desired in picking it up. This means i now have to run bending over to get the ball which  I will inadvertingly kick in  my haste to pick it up that time. In the end I resort just to asking my coach for a new ball. It is really embarassing and doesn’t seem to be letting up.
I have however mastered the confident tennis player walk and on a good day, my shots stay within bounds and my serve is coming along quite well. Then there are the regular days of balls flying into the road or going two courts over or even hitting my coach in his head while he is on the sideline. I am getting better though…now i only hit him when he is on the court funnelling balls to me. 
I can cite so many examples of my failed attempts at sports and even worse my failed attempts at being an active gym member but these make no sense since they all end in me stumbling or bumping into something that causes some measure of embarassment.  Amazingly enough, this affliction hasn’t reared its ugly head during rehearsals for the play (that’s because most people think that it is just the character i am playing). The play opens this Friday…..wish me the best.
I am fighting the good fight in overcoming my affliction. The incidences are becoming fewer and fewer. i guess age does brings grace. As a child, the desire to go running through the fields or streets, as the case may be,in wanton abandon (lol) always resulted in cuts and bruises and in one instance a trip to the hospital and an overnight stay due to a mild concussion. Yes, at the age of 8, i somehow slipped on some moss and hit my head and was out of it for about 5 minutes. On arousing in a semi-lucid state, all i remember is an elderly neighbour patting my head and face under a shower and screaming at me ,"YOU TOO HARDEN BOY!!!!  STAY INSIDE NEXT TIME!!!!!". In my dazed state i apparently gave her the finger (That I have no recollection of, but my brother remembers it well). My mother had to leave her office and come and take me to the hospital, where I fell off a bed there witihn an hour of being admitted. This prompted the overnight stay as they thought something was seriously wrong. (I was trying to balance on the bed and pick up a book on a nearby counter, but no one believed me).
Now at the age of 33, I am still plagued with bouts of imbalance but I now seem to be able to disguise them better. If someone can explain to me how i still manage to twist my ankles in the simple act of walking, i would be very grateful. My ankles no longer swell when it happens but I wonder if I may have some condition that they just haven’t diagnosed as yet. I am sure there may be a pill for it but i bet one of the sideeffects would be dizziness and nausea.
Here’s hoping for a cure………..
1 Comment

Posted by on March 13, 2006 in Uncategorized


One response to “Fumbling Through…Sports

  1. Michael

    March 13, 2006 at 13:07

    I understand only too well your aversion for sports arising from the said affliction.  In some form or fashion an embarassment creating debilitation keeps us from doing many things.  Like you a certain awkwardness at sports keeps it and any interest in it on the periphery of my activities.  I say all that to say congratulate yourself on having embarked on this adventure, sod the odd fumble and have fun in the process.  I\’m sure the teenager have the awkwardness of the first kiss, sexual experience, long term relationship and others that you have long since overcome.  It\’s your year.  Live it.


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