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Things That Annoy Me

28 Mar

I am not a squeamish type of person but there are somethings that people do that I just can’t tolerate or even permit to continue around me. Here are a few of them:
 
THINGS THAT ANNOY ME
  1. People who try to talk to me while I am in the toilet. This is a NO NO. I will not answer and if you insist on continuing to speak with me, you are in for a ripe cussing when I exit.
  2. People who try and hug me: You will know if I want to be touched. I will initiate it. Other than that, please do not try and put your greasy hands on me. Hepatitis B is a real problem even though you may not be aware of it.
  3. Spitters and those who constantly clear their throats: If you washed your hands more often, your bloody tonsils would be able to deal with the level of bacteria you keep shoving down your mouth.
  4. People Who order expensive things from menus when they know they are not paying: Trust me, if I am paying for it, you better eat the entire thing and you better give me sex afterwards. Otherwise, walk with your money for dinner. And you better not order wine when you don’t know a Chardonnay froma  Merlot.
  5. Liars: Please do not lie to me. if you do, lie well and make sure that you remember it ALWAYS.
  6. Fakers: Do not pretend to be cultured when you don’t even know what a salad fork is. If you have an accent, you better have the appropriate passport to go along with it (and I do not mean the required visa to enter that country.

Well, this is just a preliminary list as I am trying not to be too negative or condescending to others. I am far from being a perfect human being but I aspire to this end and this is just my way of informing you of the ways you can help me reach my goal.  I will be taking submissions to recommend me for the Nobel Peace Prize in a couple years. Please be ready.

 
1 Comment

Posted by on March 28, 2006 in Uncategorized

 

One response to “Things That Annoy Me

  1. mooretalkja

    June 11, 2011 at 10:36

    Church! Can I get a witness?!
    Amen!

     

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