Come Undone

28 Apr

I came to the realisation yesterday thay I am an angry black man. Yes yes I know you are shocked at that but in my world, everything seems to disturb me in some form or fashion. I seem to have an opinion, viewpoint or rant on every topic imaginable and most of them sound as if I am angry or just borderline pissed off.
Why do I say this now? Well yesterday I went on a long rant about a stupid female co-worker and her unsubtle attempts at climbing the corporate ladder at the office. I kept saying all through it that I didn’t have a problem with her but here I am talking about her to a group of fellow co-workers.  The old adage that if you talk about something alot, it is bothering you, despite claims to the contrary.  She was riding my second to last nerve in stirrups.
So in the face of my rant yesterday, it dawned on me that I need to stop being so angry about certain things. I need to stop letting people get the better of  me. I am no longer baited by others into commenting on topics, now i just volunteer and go off with my "Eva Peron" type speech on my psuedo-balcony.
So here is to finding peace and comfort in not commenting on everything and everyone. I promise myself that i will not get an ulcer by trying to hold it in but I will try to find a proper channel in which to express my frustration. The root cause of my frustration has to do with the fact that there are too many thing fighting to control MY universe and it seems that I am losing my grip on the core of my being.
So in an effort to let some steam out, here are brief comments on a few topics that I know i need to get off my chest.
WOMEN: Stop trying to control me. For goodness sake, your life is in a mess and you want to control mine? Get a Life!!! Stop watching Desperate Housewives. Try "The  L Word" and gain a better perspective on your life. If you do not have a degree or demonstate some measure of a spine, please don’t come knocking on my door. You reallythink all those Self Help books do any good when you don’t believe in yourself.
SPORTS: Don’t hate them all but my goodness please don’t speak to me on the game last night. I could care less who played or even the score much less the players’ names (call me if there is/was a fight at the game). If it’s cricket you are trying to speak to me about, forget it. I will not hear a word you say. Silly Mid-on is not a word you would ever hear coming from me.
MARRIAGE: Don’t care for it and don’t think I will ever do it. See my rant and women and understand why I tihnk I may adopt or even just send money to a Guatamalan child courtesy Muffy Tepperman at Weemawee High School.  The rate of divorce and spiralling rise of selfishness in people has forced me to reconsider the improtance of marriage over say property and financial stability.
PRETTY PEOPLE: Your looks are only for a season, so find your sugar daddy/mommy quickly and stay out of my way. Real people are trying to do actual work here. Don’t bat your eyes at me and expect me to help you out. Try offering sex, I may be more receptive.
UNAATRACTIVE PEOPLE: Know your place and station in life. You need to develop a proper functioning personality. Having an attitude doesn"t fit the package and results in others going into hysterical fits of laughter when you try to be snobby or condescending. LOL How stupid can people be?
STUPID PEOPLE: I don’t have the time nor the energy to elaborate.
TO the Man who screamed at me from his car for allegedly giving him a bad drive and who got even more upset when i refused to shout back at him, I hope you never put your baby in the front seat of your car ever again especially when trying to maneuver through cars on the highway. SHAME ON YOU.  (His ire made me realsie that it made no sense to shout back at him but to analyse the situation and point out his flaws). Road Rage is for chumps.
Have a good day everyone.
BTW, My diet begins May 1st. So be prepared for that.

Posted by on April 28, 2006 in Uncategorized


3 responses to “Come Undone

  1. Matthew

    April 29, 2006 at 03:36

    You know I had to comment….You are so funny…and although you do appear like a crazy bitch in your blog..I know you better than this….you know what I would be interesting in seeing you analyse one of these days…that \’core of your being\’ thing you feel is slipping from your grasp (Meryl!!!) seriously…tell us about that…and I love your comments on ugly people…you are so harsh…but funny…

  2. Matthew

    April 29, 2006 at 03:37

    By the way Diana Krall, Gladys knight, Sting, Santana, Sergio Mendes and Better Midler will all be at this years Montreaux Jazz festival, You need to get your ass back up here for a trip!

  3. Michael

    May 3, 2006 at 18:06

    Despite you seeming losing a grip on your centre, reading your blog is like coming home to mine.  It\’s witty, humourous, vulgar, cropped yet unrefined and very real.  All the things I like to think exist at all our cores.  I agreee with Matt though, tell us more about it next instalment.  As for this entry, spot on.  The rise in divorce rates are less alarming than the decrease in marriage rates.  I have no empirical data for the rise in selfishness but well spotted. 


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