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My Neck, My Back

19 Jul

Now that I have got your attention, I have a burning question that I deperately need answering. I would appreciate anyone’s help out there. Ok, here goes:
 
QUESTION:
How does one get rid of mosquitoes? I mean seriously get rid of them.
 
Now i love my new apartment dearly but the constant attacks and high pitched screams of mosquitoes is killing it for me. I have tried many remedies since entering the apartment but none seem to get rid of them for any length of time. Let me list some of my attempts.
 
FAN: I have a fan called a WINDBREAKER. It is supposed to be powerful enough at nice distances so that I can have it on and it circualtes all around the room yet i still feel it when it is not on me. But These damn mosquitoes seem to attack as soon as it leaves me and the buzzing is tremendous.
 
BUGMAT: I don’t know the technical term for tihs apparatus is but it is supposed to emit a scent that kills these insects dead. Well i guess these bastards are immune to it because I saw one land on the bloody thing and then fly off. Still no relief.
 
INSECTICIDE: Good old insecticide. My weapon of choice is BOP. It works. I have used it in the past and it seems to keep them at bay. Obviously the mosquitoes in Arima are normal and in Diego I seem to have stumbled upon a mutant strain bent on sucking every ounce of blood out of my feet, legs, neck , back and arms. Granted the BOP sends them away for a while but they return to the scene of the crime as soon as the scent has dissipated. Too bad that is the time when i return to the bedroom.
 
CITRONELLA CANDLES: I am sooo not a candle person and so to purchase this candle took some doing. I don’t know how people can have all these scented things burning around their house to add some measure of mystique or sexual appeal. i more think of it as a chore to clean up afterwards, plus I just dislike them.
 
Anyway, I bought two Citronella candles and placed one in the living room and the other in my bedroom. I jsut left them there, went out for a few hours and came back to the house smelling like Camp El Dorado 1990 (memories of which i have buried for all time- people, dpon’t send your children to live in camps OK?).
 
Apart from the smell, all seemed well. Then as I entered my bedroom. I realise that the candle is out and that some howthe candle holder it was in has some water in it. No it wasn’t wax, but water. Now now one else has a key to my apartment except the landlady and why would she put out the one in my bedroom and leave the other one lit? I am thinking ghosts but I am assuming that the mutant mosquitoes had sometihng to do with it. i relit it and went back to the living room. The same thing happened again.
 
Now when strange things happen to me, I call upon the name of the Lord (The Blood of Jesus is more like it) to help me exorcise whatever demon is around. Yes i know my faith seems to come with some measure of fear in my heart but who cares. Needless to say, it stopped and the candle stayed lit after that. Too bad my pillows and sheets smelt strong of citronella and therefore sleep was not easy to come by.
 
Fabric Softner Cloths: Now as far back as I can remember, these cloths are used primarily for reducing static cling in clothes that have been in a dryer.Well apparently you can put them in between your clothes to seal in a fresh scent etc. The Etcetera is also that mosquitoes hate the scent of them and therefore they flee the area where the scent is located. So I filled my closet, "citronella stained" bedspreads and anywhere I  can placed one discretly with the cloths. The only place they seemed to work is in my wardrobe as the critters from there are gone and now reside around and under the bed.
 
Sigh… I just can’t win.
 
I blame my landlady and her mini-rain forest of plants that are around the compund. Somewhere in that dense forest is a container collecting water that is growing these mutuant mosquitoes. I believe that they have been made stronger from all the plant food mixed with insecticide that she has in her back garden or "Cumuto" as i like to  call it.
 
So right now, in order to save myself and my skin from these creatures, here is my regimen as soon as i arrive home from work.
 
  1. The Bugmat goes on and all the windows are closed.
  2. An hour later or so, BOP insecticide is sprayed thorugh out the room and under the bed
  3. At the time when sleep becomes necessary, the fan is put on stationery mode. Yes right on me and i cover myself from neck to feet and try to dream of Janet Jackson proclaiming me as her One TRUE LOVE.( Yeah like that will happen).

Of course, my supposed fool-proof plan falters because sometime during the night, I am reminded that a foot is sticking out of the coverlet or that my neck is exposed by a tiny but powerful bite. The Wolverine of the mosquito world msut be on duty.

 

So there it is. My predicament. Can anyone help? Other than calling the Health or Insect Vector control or something, is there any modern solution? So pray for me and send donations to help me stock up on all these chemicals that will eventually kill me but right now, I couldn’t care less.

 

BTW, How slow and boring was Superman Returns? Can James Marsden ever find a role where his female companions are not in love with someone else? Come now. The Notebook, XMen, Ally McBeal..jeez how can one be type cast so much.

 

I know just lost you guys who go to see a movie purely for entertainment purposes. Well can’t help it. Sorry.

 

 

 

 

 
 
2 Comments

Posted by on July 19, 2006 in Uncategorized

 

2 responses to “My Neck, My Back

  1. Anthony

    July 19, 2006 at 17:56

    Well my bro You have my utmost sympathy.  because nothing short of your landlady moving those plants are going to solve your problem.  And If she is anything like "Iron Tae Tae" in Curepe you will have a time of it.
      
    So how u manage to go to the west this time I thought you were stuck on St.
    augustine?

     
  2. Anthony

    July 19, 2006 at 18:01

    Also I think director\’s feel sorry for Marsden and try to put his wooden acting ass in as much as possible to try and appease some powerful friend of his.  but Superman Returns was for people who actually know the superman mythos and follow the comics.  Because those are the only people who will understand and sit through the movie and possibly enjoy it.  too much time spent on the Lois Lane story.  Also where the hell did they find that skinny no butt woman to play someone who is supposed to be sexy?

     

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