Can I Get A *?%& ……..

21 Aug

So, in another so-called adventure of mine to the Mall (West Mall) on Saturday, I encountered what seemed to be the best customer service person/store attendant in the entire world. No not really. Just another one of these humans put here to try my patience and make me want to campaign feverishly for the passing of a law limiting the breeding patterns of certain individuals…. I am so full in agreement with any law that requires people to take a test before they procreate. I am not saying that the Sales Clerk should not have been born (or am I?). No . I am just pointing out that she should not be allowed to multiply on this earth.  I may be being a tad bit (just a teeeny weenie bit) extreme on this one but the sheer audacity of this creature had me baffled.
I am in Bluegrass (buying clothing that I will not wear and eventually have buyers remorse on and return) in the T-Shirt section. I notice that colour and size selections are limited and so i turn ot the nearest attendant (who looks as if she doesn’t work there) and ask in a calm and rational manner,
Me: Do you have more of these items in store room?
Attendant: Eh eh
Me: Excuse Me?
Attendant: (Sighs and shakes her head)
Not remember that this is BLUEGRASS we are in. The same BLUEGRASS that makes your heart race when you see the price they charge for Levis or Dockers. Well i was a little shocked and bothered by her abrupt response but decide that this idiot will not affect me today. So I continue shopping and gathering stuff and i actually accumulated a nice pile (All by Myself).  I head to the Cashier and she asks me if anyone helped me.
Me: No. No one helped.
The cashier then shouts across the store
Cashier: Aiesha is this your sale?
Aiesha: Yeah Yeah Da is mine.
Me: No it is not her sale. She did not help me
Cashier: So why you moving so?
Me: I am sorry but helping me is not someone going "eh eh" and then rushing off to another customer.
Cashier: Well she say she help you
Me: Lady, she did not help me
Cashier: OK OK..( turns and shouts) Aiesha de man say yuh ent help him.
Aiesha: Steups…Wha de hell!! I help him. I was just trying to help more than one customer
Me: No you were looking to see who will give you the bigger sale
Cashier: Eh We doh move so in here
Me: This is pointless. I helped myself and despite this onslaught I am still buying the clothes. Please go ahead and ring up the items.
Cashier: Alright Alright.
Aiesha (from across the store): Ah getting de sale?
Me and the Cashier ( in unison): NO!!
Aiesha: Steups (about five seconds long)
Cashier: Yuh real wicked yuh know
Me: she did not help me.
Meanwhile Aiesha is in the back has just started making noise and mumbling about my lack of generosity with colorful words that I am sure she has trouble spelling.
Me: Hmmm and I thought this was a Christian store.
Cashier: Eh eh Doh go dey
Me: Go Where???  She is not acting christian like right now. Plus this is not the first time I am in the store and she has done this.
Cashier: Well let me apologise for that right now. (turns to Aiesha) Girl like de man know yuh. He say this is not the first time you do this to him.
And trust me it wasn’t.
Me (grinning like a Cheshire Cat): OK
I leave the store a bit uneasy as I know that for the next two to five minutes or more (I hope), I will be the topic of conversation. I know that some (many I hope) derogatory remarks will be made about my persona etc but i just love the fact that they will be talking about me.  ME ME ME ALL ME Heh heh heh heh heh. (Was that over the top? I can never tell!)
Apart from this little incident, I had a good weekend. 
I picked up my little sister and her boyfriend from some skateboarding show at midnight on Saturday and strangely enough he decided to inform me that he no longer works for Hi-Lo Supermarket but as a Draughtsman for the Tunapuna Regional Corporation.  I congratulated him on same and wondered why he felt a need to tell me this. (Damn you blog and his ability to read).  Anyway, he lives in Cocorite (which is like on my way home) and my sister lives in Arouca, so he says he will take a ride with me to drop my sis home and then I can drop him off on my way back ot my apartment. NO problem. Sounds fair.  Fifteen minutes into the drive home, his phone rings and some woman starts shouting at the other end. He then hands my sister the phone and she answers the person in the affirmative and hangs up. 
Then I am told that Richard (that’s his name) mother wants him home NOW and that she doesn’t want him driving to Arouca. I don’t know the relationship between this boy and his mother nor do i care to know, but she was putting me out of my way at this point. Without batting an eyelash i turn the car around and dropped him home (while secretly praying to see this woman to give her some of my thoughts from that famous Gospel (you know…The Gospel According To Stefan).  Alas she was not outside when i dropped him off. So i let that one go and sped up the road while my sister chatted to the boy on the phone. Go figure.
I got home eventually after 2pm and settled in for a good night’s rest when the heard my landlady’s pompeck army rise up in a big uproar. I assumed someone strange was nearby so I crept to the living room and looked outside. What I saw then confused me.
Here was another pompeck, on the other side of the gate, apparently talking to one of my landlady’s dogs. The pompeck on the other side, barked then once and all the other dogs stopped. This was a bit disturbing to me but none the less i continues to peek. They were there for another minute or so and then the dog seemed to look up in my direction and then it turned and left.  Hmmmmm
Now on any other day I would not spout my conspiracy theories (Yeah Right), but just as I believe that the influx of Venezuelans into Trinidad is not purely coincidental, nor is the number of expats moving here, I also believe that pompecks are mobilizing to take over Diamond Vale.  No  Joke.  While heading to work this morning, I saw five pompecks on the main avenue walking together with the same one i saw that night leading the way. I made sure I didn’t make eye contact, so that they continued to assume I am another foolish human.  I dont want me to be wiped out before I can warn the masses.
Hmmm Like the anticipated Chavez invasion of Trinidad that I foresee, I am also going to get ready for the day these dogs kill a few humans and try to take over a house or two.  You just never know and you can never be too careful.
Other than that, my weekend was cool. Going to return a pair of puma sneakers I bought on Saturday. Don’t know what possessed me to buy it in the first place. Probably that "33 1/3% off" sign that kept calling me along with the fact that i own alot of puma t-shirts but not a sneaker. (My broad foot told me why this time.)
Oh well until another neurotic moment occurs or when the reclamation of Trinidad by Venezuela is underway,  I will see you on the flip side.
It is an amazing CD. This coming from someone who doesn’t care for rap but will tolerate hip-hop. 
The standout tracks  are:
  1. Hollywood Divorce
  2. Call The Law
  3. Makes No Sense At All
  4. In Your Dreams
  5. Morris Brown

But overall the CD is great and I can’t wait for the movie. If you liked Lackawanna Blues then this is right up your alley.

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Posted by on August 21, 2006 in Uncategorized


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