I’m Too Sexy

28 Aug

is it just me or have clubs in Trinidad gotten out of hand? Or is it the people that they put at the door that just drive you bonkers? I just don’t know but i do however resent being told how to dress or what to wear by individuals that won’t even make my " If I was the Last man on Earth, i would…" List.  I really don’t mean to go off on a rant here but Friday night made me remember why I chose to stay at home like the old man that i am and not go out to subject myself to idiots that seem to run amok when the sun goes down.
Case in point. My friend Dana wanted to go to ZEN ( local nightclub) on Friday to celebrate her birthday. I hemmed and hawed about being out that late but in the end i drugged myself up and went (I had the cold for the sensitive among us). Now let me tell you this….I don’t dress up. i wear a shirt five days a week and even that is too much. So to put me in a shirt when it is not mandatory, I get hives. i mean my body literally doesn’t want to have a shirt on. However, despite detesting shirts, i have enough clothing to well…um..look damn good when i go out. So I know that wherever i go i am appropriately dressed that entry to me will enver be denied (unless the club is racist).  But I digress…
We arrive at ZEN and proceed to the VIP entrance area where Dana has already ensured our names are on the list. We are all paying to enter and a hungry girl behind the lectern -type furniture, turns to myself and says the following:
Skinny Girl: Just for your information in the future, we do not allow jerseys or PoloT-Shirts in the VIP Area.
I look around to see who she is talking to because it could not be me. But there is no one else.  Let the insult begin
ME: THIS is NOT a Jersey. This is Kenneth Cole.
Skinny Girl: Well the information is for the future.
Me: And I’ll come in this again. This is Kenneth Cole. Who are you wearing?
Skinny Girl: (silence)
At this time, one of the other girl standing behind the lectern grabs my arm and places the VIP band on it. I stare at the hungry waif-like thing and vow that she will pay for insulting me.  How dare she look upon me, a fine specimen of a man and judge me because  she doesn’t know who i am. I mean…hmmp… Well  i kind of do that pre-judging sort of thing myself but my comments are kept internally until I assess the situation before me.  Guess she was in her zone of security.  OK OK i must admit my rant with the girl was kind of gay but in this metro world,  it is acceptable. Don’t you think??? Aww who cares what you think
One thing I have learnt in life it is that, the rich don’t "dress up", they wear stylish but comfortable clothing because they honestly can’t be bothered to be out in a club looking like a million dollars. (Well only if it is the club of a famous celebrity etc and even then the attire is almsot the same because they are getting in on their name and nothing else). ZEN belongs to nobody witihin that category because even if the owner of ZEN went to these places he may have to shell out loads of cash to be even on "The List" and I am sure he still won’t make it without connections. 
The Fact is……I never had to dress up to go to any club in London or Germany and I refuse to do it here. I honestly won’t wear trainers but please i am not pimping out to go to a club near where prostitutes ply their trade both inside and outside. They need to come again.
Anyway, when we get upstairs and sit to drink a bottle of Merlot in toast to Dana’s Birthday , I see a guy pass by in a "Westport" T-shirt. For those who don’t know, "Westport " is a brand equivalent to those you will find in WAL-MART or something a little cheaper than that. Cheap and semi-stylish. Plus his jersey was short sleeved while mine was long sleeved. Then  i spot a muscle man also in a short sleeved jersey and to make matters worse, his had a print on it (well it said FCUK) but still a print. I realise then that this girl at the front was just picking her battles. Sigh…in a different time, i would have bought her a drink and accidently spat in it, but since Karma is a bitch, I don’t do that anymore. 
Overall, the night wasn’t that bad. The club played good music and surprisingly i  knew the stuff "the youths" were listening to…LOL.  Oh and i saw Rihanna looking tasty as ever at the club. She was in Trinidad for a concert with her and John Legend. Apparently she lacked charisma on stage during the concert. (WHOA…What a Shocker there!!!).  She still looked really good though but since i have no desire to "make" jail for hitting on a minor, i opted out. 
Dana had a ball and I left them about 2pm when the cold medicine wore off and I started sneezing again. A good time was had by all. I will go again but it won’t be anytime soon.
BTW: I wasn’t wearing Kenneth Cole. I was wearing GAP.  Ha Ha Ha Ha Go Figure……….
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Posted by on August 28, 2006 in Uncategorized


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