12 Feb

I don’t know why i keep doing stuff like this but once in awhile I always decide to do something out of the norm. You know, i make a decision to leave my comfort zone and security area and step into a different unknown and usually unexplored territory. That event was ARMY Fete on Friday night. This is a carnival party thrown by the Defense Force of Trinidad and Tobago and has the reputation for being the "safest" fete (outside of all-inclusives) thatone can attend. In other words, common folk are all around and one doesn’t have to fear for your life or guard your wallet. After all, it’s the ARMY hosting the party. They will put anyone in their place and throw anyone out that doesn’t go along with status quo.   Sigh………Why do I keep buying into hype?
So I went to the event with four guys. After all, bringing women to this thing meant someone will have to watch over them and the last thing one wants to do at a carnival party is be a babysitter.  We got there around midnight and while walking in, I started to notice the stark difference in dress attire as compared with some of the parties that I’ve gone to for the year. Some were interesting, others bordered on obscene and some people should be shot for even thinking of wearing what they had one. One woman in particular, rather plump, had on a pair of batty riders (well I assume they were batty riders or just normal shortpants and fit her like that). Most of her ass was outside and her rolling layers of fat were on full display. She had her war paint on ( I mean make up) and she and her crew from Animal Farm were there for allot see. i briefly made eye contact with her and heard the comments "All ah dis is yours tonight family…just come and take it when yuh ready".  I did not turn around but i did make a mental note not to be anywhere where she might turn up. (First sign – things might not go well)
We reached to the entrance to the party and there seemed to be army men in riot gear and absolute chaos all around. There were no barricades so that people could line up in an order fashion. The army assumed the role as the barricade and failed miserably. This was a prime indication that things were not going to go well tonight (Second Sign). We entered the melee and after about fifteen minutes of the crowd pushing me in (at least two of those minutes I was moving with the crowd without my feet touching the ground.) When we finally got in we were then frisked by civilians who were not checking everyone as they came in. (Third Sign)
SIDENOTE: Perfume/Cologne does not cover up the smell of not haven taken a bath. The crowd was littered with people who were sweating due to the congestion and their lack of deodrant/hygiene was failing them and assaulting my nose on levels that not even my brain is accusomted to.
Inside the fete, there was just a sea of people, but everything apeared calm. We got drinks with ease and proceeded deeper into the crowd to pick a spot from where we could survey all actions. We found one and after getting comfortable in my surroundings I realised that :
a) Women were scarce and many were scary looking
b) People probably got discounts on tickets for being ugly
3) The fat girl and her friends were following us.
A few bands played and some artistes performed whom I knew nothing of or about, but the rest of crowd seemed to know them well. (Just goes to show that I am not one with grass-roots community. Hmmm I may need to brush up on my slang then). Bunji Garlin was so-so, Denise Belfon rocked as usual and the host of artistes I knew nothing of..well they were ok.  The two performers most of the crowd were waiting on was Shurwayne Winchester with Atlantik and Machel Montano HD. Don’t ask me what the HD means other than he fired everyone from Xtatik and formed a new band..
During this theseperformances, a mini-fight broke out near me between two girls and one girl decided to cuss another and proceeded to throw water on her. Half of the water ended up on me. Sigh (Danger Danger Will Robinson) – Fourth Sign- Doom Approaching.
The ultimate sign that I should not have been there came when Machel Montano walked on stage and the creatures aorund me went into a frenzy. it is amazing to see how people seem to lose control of themselves and become absolutely animal like once Machel beings to perform. It is as if they are possessed at that point in time. These natives were whipped into a frenzy. Beer was being thrown all over the place, people were jumping on one another, i was holding on to my cellphone and money in my pocket, the fat girl grabbed me during this frenzied state. I screamed (like a big girl) and tried to get away from "Ursula the Sea witche’s tentacles" and just as i got free, I felt something hit me hard on my head.
Someone had thrown something into  crowd and apparently it chose to land on my head. It hurt like a MF but it gave me a chance to ease away from the fat girl to recuperate. I fullygot into Machel’s performance and was having a good time when I felt a sting on my head. My sweat had made contact with something on myhead that was now slightly tingling me. i touched the spot where the UFO had hit me and when i looked at my hand, the was a small amount of blood.
Yes folks you read correctly, I got a "buss head" at the event. The cut on it wasn’t that deep nor wide but my mood changed automatically as a result. Fat Girl on realising my injury grabbed me and said that she wastaking me to the Ambulance. I told her that I was fine and that I was going to the Bathroom (by myself) to check it out.  i honestly was going by no Port-A- Potty to check my injury out, i just wanted the thing to stop touching me. I got treatment for the injury at the Ambulance and it turned out to be a slightscape on my forehead. i was thankful for that….No scar will remain.
Now on visiting the Ambulance, a group of armymen came up to me to ask if i was in a fight. One started shouting at me and i just turned to him and said.
Me: Ay, I’m not deaf (signing it as well). Speak to me in civil tone or i will ignore you.
Army Guy: Who you was fighting with?
Me: Does my injury look as if it was from a fight? Something hit me while Machel was performing.
Army Guy: Leh meh see (He pulls my head to his face)
Army Guy: Steups…that is what u come to the ambulance for? That not even a real injury.
Me: Well sorry I couldn’t get Rambo to put agash in my head but since i didn’t know what hit me I didn’t want to risk the chance of infection.
Me: Is that answer good enough for you?
The Army guy looks at me with disgust and contempt. He then walks off with his other idiot friends to question some guy that is wheezing. Hmmm and we wonder why the coutnry is in a mess. We put guns in the hands of people with a minimum of 3 "O" Levels and expect them to be reasonable when all they want to do is shoot. Sigh……
i’ve always had a little problem with authority from ever since. Particularly with any form of Regimen…like cadets etc. Shouting at me is not going to auger well for you winning my trust especially if you are an idiot.
With that rubbish out of the way, i make it back to the area jsut in time to hear Patrice Roberts massacre another song by singing off key. Fat Girl touches my head and says she will take me home later and make it all better. i tell her that I  don’tthink my boyfriend would approve. She watches me, laughs and leaves me alone for a whole 15 minutes.
Shurwayne Winchester came on and fling his towel around for the umpteenth time this carnival season. (Jeez I swear he needs toget a new act). A strange but cute girl walks up to me asks me:
Girl: Whey yuh from?
Me: Arima
Girl: Nah ah mean yuh from foreign nah..yuh just come home for de canival?
(Do you notice how her speech is just winning me over. Why did she have to speak? She was looking so good in this sea of ugly)
Me: Why you saying that?
Girl: Yuh not dress like a local nah
Me: Oh Ok
Girl: Ah taking a wine eh? i ain’t go keep you hugging up all night but ah real like this song
Me: (Grinning like an idiot). Sure!!!!
I danced with her for the rest of Shurwayne’s musical set and she never let go of me during it. When we were saying goodbye, she asked for my number and i gave it to her..well with one digit off.
My group left after that set as it was 3:30 in the morning and we were not about to stay just to hear KMC and some no name band. I agreed that this would be my first and last fete of this nature while  the rest were thinking about going to UWI Splash on Carnival Thursday. When asked if I was coming with them for that one, i just simply uttered, " Don’t know..Call me nah"
When will i ever learn?
Now you will not see pics form Army fete as I believed that flash photgraphy and those animals would be a recipe for disaster. After the night i had, I am glad i left it at home. 
How was your weekend?
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Posted by on February 12, 2007 in Uncategorized


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