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Monthly Archives: March 2007

I’ve Committed Murder (And I Think I Got Away)


You guys heard me talk about my pigeon problem right? Well yesterday it reached to new heights. Over the past week I’ve been forced to leave my stereo on rather loudly while i’m at work as this kept them out of the apartment. Hmmm well so i thought.
 
A few days ago i saw some twigs in my kitchen but thought nothing of it. I just swept them into a corner and told myself " Marilyn will clean that up on Saturday". Yes, yes I have a housekeeper and I don’t care who thinks that I am lazy. Anyway she only comes once a fortnight.  any how…I paid it no mind and just went on my merry way.
 
Yesterday afternoon I come home and the house is still noisy. So on arrival I shut off the stereo and proceed to my room for a little nap before going to the gym. I hear the rustling of feathers but when i go and inspect EVERY room. I hear nothing. Hmmmm i guess I scared them away.  Oh Yuh tink so???? Not so at all. Apparently two pigeons were nesting ontop a very high cupboard in the kitchen (right where I swept up the twigs). So after chasing them away I realise that more twigs fell from where they were. So in a furious state I go and get the broom as i was going to clean on top the cupboard (Marilyn cannot reach there so I needed to bring the dirt to a lower level).
 
At this point, I am really pissed atthe situation and that my landlady has done nothing about it. I didn’t ask for roommates and  if she is subletting my apt to someone else, the least she could do is inform of a rent reduction. Yuh do think so????
 
So i climb up on a chair with the broom in hand and begin to do a blind sweep of the top of the cupboard. (I am not tall enough even on the chair to see the top of this area but I was working with rage). I see twigs start falling in abundance. Rage building…… So I sweep a few more times and then I let the rest I tihnk I have gathered in a corner fall to the ground. Then I saw it. Eggs….yup three small eggs laying on the ground. Broken. Rage dissipates… I feel awful.
 
I am still upset that these pigeons decided to make a nest  in my apartment but I didn’t think that eggs would be involved. I cleaned up the mess and put it into a bag to be thrown out with the trash.
 
I didn’t go to the gym last night. I was filled with serious guilt. Still am to a certain extent. When I got up this morning, one pigeon was already in my apartment and it made a point of flapping around alot. It must have been devasted at the loss of its young ones.  I am thinking that when I get home this afternoon that my apartment will be covered in bird shit because of my heinous crime.
 
What do you think? Should I turn myself into the police? The TSPCA? Huh what should I do to get rid of my guilt?
 
Suggestions welcome.
 
BTW: No rent for landlady at the end of this month for sure. 
 
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Posted by on March 16, 2007 in Uncategorized

 

Open My Heart


I did something this weekend that I haven’t done in over a year and a half…..I went to church. Oh yes, i decided that I needed more than a little prayer in my life and took the plunge and got up early Sunday morning and made my way to church.
 
Of course the usual stuff happens when one makes a plan to go to church.
  • The night before you end up hanging out late – I went to see a late movie that i never arrived at. Instead I hung out with some friends at the Marriott Courtyard and just talked for hours.
  • You wake up on time but getting out of bed is Murder – This was no exception, my eyes opened before the alarm clock went off but the rest of my body refused to move and it took the cooing of a pigeon in my bedroom for me to get up. 

SIDE NOTE: I have a pigeon problem in my apartment. Apparently due the high airy ceiling I have in my apt, pigeons have started invading y space on a frequent basis. I don’t know where they are coming from but I am not amused by their presence and the mess they leave as a result. My land lady has been informed and she says she doesn’t know what to do. But strangely enough she is working on it when the thought of non-payment of rent came up due to the squatters in my apartment. She has also cleaned my apt when big piles of mess were found in the kitchen, both bathrooms and my spare bedroom.  Now I resort to leaving my stereo and tv and alarm radio on all day because the noise keeps them away.  Anyway I digress……

  • What you planned to wear is either soiled or not ironed: And ironing at this late stage will only makeyou latefor church and therefore u end up in a bad seat. Thank goodness i had like 12 shirts that were recently dry cleaned so i was able to avoid this one entirely but the damn pigeon had moved into the living room and the cooing was driving me insane. I was only seeing.
  • Someone calls to talk at this hour – Yup there is always that one person that wakes you up to tell you something that could have waited until like 1pm but they needed to get it off their chest. I politely told them that I was on my way to church and that this topic will have to wait. I heard a faint request to accompany me to church but I ignored it. God can hear her problems in another church, I ned him to focus on mine right now. Have no fear, i don’t call people to burden them with my problems, lest they roll their eyes as i did or worse call someone else to bitch about me. Strange how sometimes we love people to listen to our problems consistently but their problems seem to be a chore for us. Oh well …selfishness will always be that……Thank goodness God isn’t like us.

Anyway i made my way to church, got a nice seat on the aisle, for ease of exit should i be bored out of my mind, and I settled in. Jeez, old people can talk for hours!! These two old ladies behind me spoke of everyone that entered the church that did not acknowledge them. I found out that someone has just lost another job (second one for the year -yes we only in March) and some lady’s son has emotional issues.  It took me a while to decipher their code but apparently the young man has feelings for other men but one old lady didn’t want to say such things in God’s house so she referred to it as emotional issues. Too bad the other one just blurted out after awhile.." Oh, he like MAN??"  I guess we both weren’t understanding what "emotional issues" meant.

Service began with everyone greeting each other and hugging etc. I am not a hugging person so I was happy that no one came up to me except the malicious old lady but she shook my hand and told me "Walk with the Lord always young man." She went and hugged the lady whose son has emotional issues about ten seconds later. She did not let go of the woman for awhile. Even the woman felt uncomfortable with the long hug. After this touchy feely part was over, there was a 15-20 minute comedy routine by the pastor  as he told of his travels and the various guests that were gracing the chruch at this point. I just remained smiling as my stomach informed me that it was time for its usual feeding. i am never hungry first thing in the morning but an hour or two later..well i could eat a horse. Too bad i forgot about that and there was no Crix in my car only gum (which i know i cannot chew in church as there is a particular usher who seems to be the gum warden).

At last, the worship part of the service began and it was beautiful. It is times like this I realise why I used to go to church. The singing, the joyous praise, the uplifting songs. Sigh I miss singing.  Anyway, it felt really goos. I felt revived and ready to take on the world after that part of the service was over. I was shouting and singing as if I was in concert (well in my mind I was, plus i was trying to drown out granny who has the voice of a T-REX…..nothing melodic was coming out. But since its church we let these things be).

Then the pastor got into the sermon and with ten minutes of it, I was asleep. I got up a few times and understood parts of the message but i alway remember that my attention span wavers greatly when I am bored out of my mind. His sermon wasn’t entirely boring but I guess my body is not use to being up at this hour on a Sunday morning (Yeah right…so what’s my explanation for falling asleep during board meetings?).  i remained awake for the last 20minutes of his hour long sermon and was glad i did. He made some nice points as he was wrapping up. Not the usual love yourself crap just about not letting people steal your joy. It was good. He said other stuff as well but i cna’t remember. ( Hey it’s my first time back, I stayed awake and heard something..Next time i will write it down)

Next Time?? Oh yes, there will be a next time. Hopefully it will be this Sunday but I am not making any plans yet. I had a good time and I slept for the rest of the day. Oh Yeah, i also played Marvel Ultimate Challenge on XBOX for like six hours. I’m getting good at it surprisingly.

BTW: It’s official!!!    I have lost 20 POUNDS!!!! Yes folks no lie. I checked myself on 4 scales and i’ve moved from 228 to 208 (December 2006 to February 2007). Though there is still the presence of  love handles and a little stomach. the body is leaner. and i dare say sexier…heh heh heh heh heh My work shirts are too big for me and I’ve dropped at least two trouser sizes (40 to 38 in most cases) I can wear a 36 but due to my big bottom, it comes across as a bamsie squeezer…LOL.

So what now? Well I keep on living, and working out and hopefully i can keep the weight off and achieve some measure of a six pack by year end. If the "six pack" or "one pack" doesn’t come..well  there’s always my appointment with Dr. Lala for my 35th birthday. Oh yeah Nip and Tuck…LOL

Oh.. I dont have man breasts anymore….YEAH!!!!!! LOL The things I cheer for.

Laters my peeps

 

 

 

 
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Posted by on March 12, 2007 in Uncategorized