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The Weakness In Me

24 Apr

I have been really delinquent in my blog upkeep these past few weeks and that primarily has to do with work and my overall lack of time and stamina to keep it up after typing away at a laptop all day. I haven’t even been on Msn Messenger alot. I now fnd myself lying in my bed in a vegetative state waiting until 9pm when I trek to the gym to ensure that my smaller self doesn’t expand back to the size of a barge.
 
It is becoming increasingly difficult to keep up with my diet and new eating habits as I miss and crave everything i abstained from for the year thus far. I did not touch Peanut Butter….glorious peanut butter for three months and things like bake and smoked herring or omelets were just not on the cards. I have eaten the occassional KFC but if I am around my gym partner or someone who thinks they know better, that usually involves me throwing away the skin of the chicken. (Are you kidding me???? That is the best part of the meal….yummy delicious skin……sigh).
 
Boy is it hard……
 
Morning meals have been reduced to oatmeal, Quaker Oatmeal variety packs to be precise. Now when i was growing up, we always had Oatmeal with milk and brown sugar and if you had a grandmother who was lazy, she would just put some condensed milk in it. (oooh lovely). So imagine my surprise when I started eating my oatmeal at the office and everyone had objection to my use of condensed milk. I must admit that I used more than just a teaspoon sometimes..(well more like two to three tablespoons of it..LOL) because oatmeal tastes like cardboard when eaten with water. Have you tried that? Oatmeal and water? Ewwww Sorry but that ain’t happening. I realise now that i needed to cut my sugar intake so i got a larger bowl to put the oatmeal in and i put more water into the mixture to dilute the condensed milk. Oh Yeah i am also down to two tablespoons of it now. The oatmeal still tastes like cardboard but with a slight flavor. Sigh….the things you do for nutrition and overall well being.
 
Lunch is also a chore as it now involves more boilt veggies and either peas or baked or grilled chicken breast. Talk about bland…jeez i have pepper sauce on standby just to give some of these things flavor. Well that was how it was when i first started.. Now I still have more salad and veggies but I don’t discriminate on the meats. I will do Geera Chicken or Beef some days, Baked Chicken in some kind of tasty sauce or Chinese Chicken. I used to treat myself at least once for the week by having Curry for lunch (I tell you now…Curry is the Devil!!!! And i love it). Buss-up-shot (Paratha) with Bodi (String Beans), Baigan (Spinach) and Aloo (Potato) topped with curry chicken is the order of the day. I feel like a whale after eating it, but i love it!!!
 
The strange thing is that since the diet, my portions of food have decreased so that having the curry now always fills me up faster than usual. Those who know me, know that this is weird since i can wolf down two regular sized rotis without breaking a sweat and still have room for dessert.
 
Anyway, all of this leads to no snacking in between meals and if I get hungry I drink water (which soothes the beast most of the time). If the hunger gets really bad, then i have some crackers (Club Social) and that really does the trick. Dinner is normally at 6pm (always before 7pm) and usually consists of either left overs from Cooking on Sunday or Rotisierrie Chicken fron Hi-Lo and boilt veggies.
 
i was asked the other day by a rather heavy set girl at the office about my weight loss regimen. When i explained all this to her she commented with disgust.." Oh so yuh starve yuhself..steups!!! That can’t work for me." Insulted to the core by her comments, since i did not starve myself but just opted not feed the beast everytime it growled, i responded in the following manner:
 
Me: No, I didn’t starve myself. The difference between you and i is that I can say no after eating the second donut while you only say no after thebox empty.
 
She got loud and uttered something stupid to which i just responded. "Guess feeding every five minutes is still not enough"
 
Yes yesi know i am going to hell in a handbasket for my comments but hey..i try to be nice. Why can’t people just try not to upset me? i think thati s an easier goal for them. Don’t you?
 
 
All i am saying is that i am trying really hard to loose an extra ten pounds to see what i will look like below 200lbs but all of a sudden, April seems to be the month of birthdays and it seems that this bank has like a hundred ppl born in this month. Almost every week we are celebrating someone’s birthday with cake and ice cream. These things i can resist because they usually buy the cheap stuff and i can resist that.
 
The big test came when the Managing Director’s birthday came around and instead of only cake and ice cream, they had pizza and not just pizza but Dominoes pizza. I convinced myself that three slices would not hurt and that eating this at 3:30pm would constitute an early dinner. I had two veggie slices and one chicken filled slice of pizza ( for my first trip  to the table). Then i had another three slice serving on my second trip.  then i just stood near the table and became old Stefan again. In the end, I ate 13 slices of pizza and one cup of Coconut ice cream.  I was weak. My resistance was down and i was falling, failing miserably. The pizza tasted sooooooo good that i just couldn’t help myself. Honestly,  i really couldn’t.
 
My saviour came in the person of a guy named Ian Chin who walked up to me and just looked at me and said "Stop". I looked around to see if anyone else at the event noticed and realised what was going on. Yes, they all did.  I turned to them all, announced myself as a Food Addict and vowed to go into rehab. This was met by loud shouts of laughter. Apparently,  i looked like a man possesed near the pizza table. The same heavy set girl made a comment at the event but her voice was silenced when someone pointed out that she had already put aside six slices to take home.
 
Now the whole office watches me. Waiting for me to slip again. Offers of doubles and tasty beef pies on mornings come really frequently now. Plus I am always invited to go to lunch with clients at some expensive restaurant and I only ask for the freaking Salad.
 
So you see, trying to loose these last 10 pounds to go below 200 is slowly killing me. i am determined to win the fight but it’s getting hard. i still go to the gym but after being in it for almost a year now my drive is wavering.
 
All in all, say a little prayer for this fat boy. Help him with your support and not with your dinner invitations. Keep curry away from him and Tell J. Malones block his entry on a Friday night for their tasty burger…slurp slurp…oops some fell on the laptop.
 
how are you doing?
 
Oh As for the young girl and the whole AKON thing at Zen nightclub:
Akon- Not Guilty
Zen – Guilty
Dana Alleyne – Not guilty (although the tatoos at 15 don’t hlep her case)
Her Parents (The Pastor and his lovely wife) – GUILTY, GUILTY, GUILTY of BAD parenting. He can lead his church but not take care of his home? Hmmm Shame SHAME SHAME
 
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Posted by on April 24, 2007 in Uncategorized

 

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