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Monthly Archives: July 2007

The Space Between


On Wednesday 4th July, I visited an orthodontist. This visit was long in coming and it was primarily because within recent times i have been whistling when trying to pronounce certain words.  

Now that you are done laughing, I can continue. For as long as I can remember, i have had a small space between my two front teeth. My laments on it being big enough to park a maxi taxi there were always met by people telling me how sexy it was. I never believed them but over the years i have grown to love my gap and appreciate its uniqueness. Now however, it seems to be widening and with it comes a slight problem of a sound coming out. It doesn’t happen often but once while attempting tell someone how to pronounce the word "concierge", the entire thing came with a whistling noise and it was met with serious laughter. 

Apart from this incident, the other instances have been controlled and they have also gone unnoticed by my listeners (either that or all of them pretended it didn’t happen as i did). So i arrive to this place where at the ripe old age of 34, I am seriously thinking about getting braces.

So I go to this doctor and she tells me that it is a common thing for the gap to widen as one gets older (huh?? it already looks as if i have lost a tooth. it gets wider?) and that i have a slight overbite which she can also correct.  I am so onboard at this point. Then she did it. Oh yes she did…..She pulled out the pricing chart.. 

Apparently, my braces are going to cost me over $25,000 over the next 2 years (barring any complications). Can you believe that? I also opted for ceramic braces so that they are less visible so i guess its my fault for the cost.  

So tell me this…is this vanity that i am engaging in here by trying to close my gap or does it make sense in the long term? 

I mean Laurence Fishburne has a gap and he is a sought after movie star. Does he whistle when he speaks? I don’t know. This is because every movie i have seen him in (save What’s Love Got To Do With It) he has spoken really slowly in them(See Fantastic Four:2, M.I.3 and the Matrix Trilogy). 

For now I have put off my decision until the end of the month. I am really weighing my options here but more leaning towards getting the braces. It means 18 months with iron in my mouth and little children from ages 3 to 35 making fun of me but they are the least of my worries. My biggest fear is that I am stuck with braces for over a long period like 3 to 5 years. I knew this guy called David Jack who had braces all through secondary school and even until the end of sixth form.  That’s over seven years!!!  Either his mouth was really messed up or he had a really bad orthodontist.  

Either way, i am paying this woman’s bills for a long time to come. The other thing is that her office was full of people waiting to see her as well. Is everyone in Trinidad suffering from overbites etc? Do we all have messed up teeth? I hope not. 

Anyway, I’ll keep you updated………..

 
 
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Posted by on July 9, 2007 in Uncategorized

 

Fool of Me


This weekend I decided to play sociable and attend an event at one of my alma maters (St. Mary’s College). The event was called "Dining with the Saints" and it promised over 90 types of dishes for you to chose from and an open bar. I thought it wise to attend since most Saturdays either meets me in a pool hall or in front of the TV playing XBox or just watching some boring rerun.
 
I arrived at the event and was quickly handed a large plate and utensils and then i looked around at all the stalls I could see. Sigh…if yuh see FOOD!! My mouth started to water and my stomach started adjusting itself in preparation for the big meal it was about to have. At first I was unable to decide what to start with and then I saw a sign labelled " Peppered Ribs"…….ding….off I ran.
 
So I put out my plate for the guy to fill it with ribs and it was then i made a startling discovery. After filling my plate he asked me for my chit. I went, "EH?".  He said "You need to give me one of your chits." Lo and behold in my hand under the plate was long row of chits. The chits gace you a choice of 3 meats and two desserts. THREE MEATS?? THREE MEATS???? STEUPS!!!!! I’ve been duped. I wanted to taste everything. now i’m stuck having to make choices. What if I make a bad choice, there is no do-over? Hmmm what did i really expect for $200?
 
So after giving him one of my chits I realized that my next selection had better be good since none of the booths were allowing you to sample the product before you took it. Hmmph . So I walked around for like what seemed 5 minutes (Yes that is long for a hungry man) and I went to a stall which had some guys i went to school with. Unfortunately their meat was curried goat and beef and there was no way I was wasting a chit on something I know that I can cook at home.  It however smelt really good and after talking with them, i got a sample of each on my plate without having to give them a chit. VICTORY !!! Finally someone understood my plight.
 
With three meats on my plate already, i went out in search of another dish. I again stumbled on some people that knew me and they begged me to try their "Blah Blah" lamb dish.  I say blah blah cause i can’t remember its name. So I gave them a chit and moved on.
 
My final meat decision was my worst. It dawned on me that I had no chicken on my plate and I wanted a balance. (Yeah right what balance?). Anyway, as i walked around i only saw chinese style chicken and i wasn’t interested in that at all. Then I saw it, no well actually i had seen it a couple times as i passed up and down these stalls trying to make a decision. The sign read "Harry Potter Chicken" and to myself I thought, "Hey why not, it can’t be that bad!"
 
First of all the young guy at the stall asked for my chit first and thenhe took it really fast . (I should’ve known something was up when i noticed that his dish was all covered up). After grabbing the chit he opens up his tray and to reveal the great "Harry Potter Chicken".  HUH? EH? WTF??? STEUPS STEUPS STEUPS….Baked Chicken drumsticks? Fricking Baked Chicken? That is the Harry Potter chicken? That is what i wetting my appetite for? Well I vex. I REAL vex.  Well, not vex enough to tell him give me back my chit because he looked around the age of 14/15 and i don’t think much people were partaking in his dish. This chicken better have some kind of magical spell that makes me love it yuh know….
 
I took my plate and went to sit with some old school friends and their wives (Yes, being single is a bitch). I complained bitterly about the Harry Potter dupe and when I actually tasted it..well the thing had no seasoning and the tasted rather bland. Suprisingly enough the only really tasty stuff that was on my plate was the stuff I got for free. All my meat choices sucked big time. I am still waiting to taste the Pepper in the Peppered Ribs and the Lamb well it needed a Maggi cube or two to make it taste good.
 
I spent the rest of the night warning everyone about the great Harry Potter Hoax but everyone else said that  they saw the sign and had no intention of eating that dish.
 
Sidebar: Was I the only idiot who decided to taste it? hmmm me thinks so.
 
All in all it was a good night. Met up with a good few people that i hadn’t seen in ages and it was fun to catch up with them. 
 
The next morning, my stomach hurt like hell and i believe that Harry Potter was responsible for it. Hmmm what do you think?
 
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Posted by on July 2, 2007 in Uncategorized