On Wednesday 4th July, I visited an orthodontist. This visit was long in coming and it was primarily because within recent times i have been whistling when trying to pronounce certain words.
Now that you are done laughing, I can continue. For as long as I can remember, i have had a small space between my two front teeth. My laments on it being big enough to park a maxi taxi there were always met by people telling me how sexy it was. I never believed them but over the years i have grown to love my gap and appreciate its uniqueness. Now however, it seems to be widening and with it comes a slight problem of a sound coming out. It doesn’t happen often but once while attempting tell someone how to pronounce the word "concierge", the entire thing came with a whistling noise and it was met with serious laughter.
Apart from this incident, the other instances have been controlled and they have also gone unnoticed by my listeners (either that or all of them pretended it didn’t happen as i did). So i arrive to this place where at the ripe old age of 34, I am seriously thinking about getting braces.
So I go to this doctor and she tells me that it is a common thing for the gap to widen as one gets older (huh?? it already looks as if i have lost a tooth. it gets wider?) and that i have a slight overbite which she can also correct. I am so onboard at this point. Then she did it. Oh yes she did…..She pulled out the pricing chart..
Apparently, my braces are going to cost me over $25,000 over the next 2 years (barring any complications). Can you believe that? I also opted for ceramic braces so that they are less visible so i guess its my fault for the cost.
So tell me this…is this vanity that i am engaging in here by trying to close my gap or does it make sense in the long term?
I mean Laurence Fishburne has a gap and he is a sought after movie star. Does he whistle when he speaks? I don’t know. This is because every movie i have seen him in (save What’s Love Got To Do With It) he has spoken really slowly in them(See Fantastic Four:2, M.I.3 and the Matrix Trilogy).
For now I have put off my decision until the end of the month. I am really weighing my options here but more leaning towards getting the braces. It means 18 months with iron in my mouth and little children from ages 3 to 35 making fun of me but they are the least of my worries. My biggest fear is that I am stuck with braces for over a long period like 3 to 5 years. I knew this guy called David Jack who had braces all through secondary school and even until the end of sixth form. That’s over seven years!!! Either his mouth was really messed up or he had a really bad orthodontist.
Either way, i am paying this woman’s bills for a long time to come. The other thing is that her office was full of people waiting to see her as well. Is everyone in Trinidad suffering from overbites etc? Do we all have messed up teeth? I hope not.
Anyway, I’ll keep you updated………..