I don’t know about you, but sometimes when I am watching TV, I get these moments of clarity or epiphanies that I just can’t describe. It is normally where a character’s action or line in the show just sinks deep within my core and fuses with my being. It doesn’t happen as often as you would think but when it happens, I feel my DNA change. I feel like a new version of Windows OS (I know I look good and have extra features but deep down I am still plagued by the same problems as always). Actually it is more like one of those contestants on “The Biggest Loser” when they take the scale for the first time and realized that they’ve lost like 40 pounds in one week. Yeah, it feels that good. Whether or not this new feeling/ strange bowel movement/ epiphany results in an improvement in my life is still up for debate.
The first time it happened (that I can seriously recall) was the first time watching “My Best Friend’s Wedding”. Yeah Yeah I know what you saying and gasping under your breath but it was a moment that made me wake up from the destructive scenarios I used to place myself in. (Don’t knock the movie). I don’t know if you can recall this scene:
Julia Robert’s Character has just kissed her Best Friend and told him to “pick her” as his future wife. His fiancé saw the whole thing and ran off. He took off behind her and Julia took off behind him. Julia then calls her friend in Los Angeles and tells him what is going on. He then asks Julia’s character:
George Downes: Michael’s chasing Kimmy?
Julianne Potter: Yes!
George Downes: You’re chasing Michael?
Julianne Potter: YES!
George Downes: Who’s chasing you… nobody, get it? There’s your answer.
That “Nobody” line came like a secret password that opened up a new level of my subconscious. It bonded to me. My circuitry took to the new program. I just beheaded an immortal and acquired his powers. A powerful feeling.
To this day, I don’t chase after anyone…….(Sorry, I couldn’t say that with a straight face). Well maybe I still do, but it is never for long periods. When the situation gets bad, the line “Who’s chasing you…nobody, get it?” kicks into my head and well I know it is time to move.
It happened again last night while watching a new show called “Nurse Jackie” on Showtime.
It was said during the opening credits and at the end of the show. It seems to be the character’s tagline/mantra:
“Make me good, God – but not yet.”
While this line is totally irreverent and may offend the sensitive Christian types among us. I totally love and strangely enough, I feel as if I have said this prayer so many times in my life. I guess I never vocalized it so succinctly.
Everyday for me is a struggle to do what is considered “right”. I remember telling a few friends that “I try to use my powers for good”. I don’t know if you understand what I mean but sometimes in the face of all that is going on one has to fight off the evil thoughts and simple evil deeds that seem to come naturally within ones thought processes. Is this the case with you?
· What is one to do when you realize a weakness in a co-worker that can get you promoted or get you go on a trip instead of them? Make Me Good God…
· What is one to do when people are constantly abusing your good nature? Make me Good God
· What do you do when someone is making your life a living hell and you keep telling yourself that you won’t raise the country’s escalating murder rate? Make me Good God
· What do you do when you have figured out how to get back at someone without them even figuring it out? Make me Good God
· Why do I look past the faults of others and still give them the benefit of the doubt while they chastise me constantly? Make Me Good God…No seriously
· What do you do when you see your enemies falter or in pain and they still try to bring you down?
MAKE ME GOOD GOD………..but not yet.