Monthly Archives: January 2010

Son of a Gun

Am I a nice person? Hmmm after Saturday, I am not so sure.

Let me paint you a picture:


Saturday 23rd January saw me auditioning for a new production of ” Once On This Island” that is going to be put on by UTT ( the previous production of it that I was attached to never came off due to lack of funding). The new production has the same director as the last who called and asked me to come in and sing for a new role in it. New role? Umm what?

Now in the old production I was Agwe, God of Water, and I had a killer song in it called “Rain”. I really really really really like that song. However, this time around, he told me he wants a tenor to sing that song and wants my Baritone voice for the role of Papa Ge, Sly demon of Death (which was a tenor part before).  Now, as much as the name of the character doesn’t interest me, I still welcomed the challenge to try something new and I actually had some ideas on how I wanted the character to sound already. I was really excited about this new challenge.

Fast forward to audition day and I get there and I see some old cast members mulling around as well.  I am happy to see familiar faces and so I
engaged everyone in a few rounds of conversation.  During one of these conversations, I told a guy named Andrew that I was excited about trying out for the role of Papa Ge even though I really love the song that Agwe sings. Then he said something that made a switch click in my head.

Andrew: Oh yeah I know he wants you to sing that. He has me trying out for Agwe

Me: What? How come? Oh that’s right you have a tenor type voice.

Andrew: Well yes and no. Since last February I told the director that if he was ever doing the show again I wanted a bump up to a God instead of being one of the peasants. And I told him that I wanted to play Agwe.


Me: (laughs half-heartedly) Really?

Andrew: Yeah and he told me it was ok. (Breathe Stefan, Breathe)

Me: So you ready to dazzle them with the song?

Andrew: Yeah, kinda, right now I can’t seem to be remember the words. You know them right?

Me: (Unclench your fist Stefan, unclench it…He will see it!!!) Yeah I know it like the back if my hand.

Andrew: Ok cool. I will check you in awhile just to run through the words ok?

Me: Yeah sure. (WTH!!! What you mean u don’t remember the words? Are you insane? How could you treat the song like that???? This is
sooooo wrong!!!)


At this point in time, the rest of the scenery ceases to exist for me. Right then and there I was in a dark room alone, screaming at the top of my lungs at what I considered the injustice that was taking place. I get re-cast for him? How dare the director do that?   I needed to breathe.  I needed to chant (Mama say mama sah mama ma koo sah). I needed to hit Andrew with a cro bar!!

But that made no sense, it is an audition and therefore nothing is cast in stone.

Look, it is not that I thought that I had a better voice than Andrew (well I kinda did), I was just upset over being the only one that was recast into another slot. Well the guy who played Papa Ge before was nowhere to be seen during this audition but that wasn’t my problem. I was focusing on ME!!!  And why did ANDREW get to audition for MY part!!!! Not fair!!! (Stamps foot like 5 year old)

After awhile I let this feeling go and said to myself:

“Stefan, embrace change. Go in there and give them a killer performance of the Papa Ge song. Make sure you get the part!!!!”

And so I did.

I auditioned two spots earlier than Andrew and as such, I did something in hindsight that…Well let me just tell you:

First they ran scales with me and for the life of me I still can’t understand why all of a sudden I felt tone deaf and there were some notes that just seemed odd.  (I blame this on my tunnel vision as I just wanted to sing the song and get it over with).  Anyway, we get to the song and I sing it not too shabbily Then the room fills with silence and I am just standing there. They are looking at me and just mulling around a bit. Then I said:

Me: Was that enough? Cause if you want, I can sing Agwe’s song for you as well?

Musical Director lady: Ah yes please do, I would be very interested in hearing that.


At this point the Director (who told me about the part) shoots me an evil look, but I didn’t care. I wanted everyone in that room to know that I could sing the Agwe role. And so I did and the musical director and some others on the panel just started to smile when I was done. The Director smiled as well but he knew what he was smiling about. I’m sure a few choice words came to his mind to tell me as well.

As I left the room, there is Andrew standing outside the door with his mouth open. I stroll up to him and said:

“Boy, after singing the Papa Gee song they asked me if I knew Agwe’s, so I just obliged. But anyway Good luck”

I lied. I knew it affected him.  And I was not sorry about it. (Well now I am but at the time I felt good).

I did not stay around for his performance as I had to run to the car to get a change of clothing for the “movement” audition in half hour’s time. That in itself was a disaster. It wasn’t filled with complicated dance moves or anything but I kinda screwed it up when all of a sudden the Dance instructor signaled Andrew, two others and I to do the dance by ourselves.  What I remembered before and was doing perfectly fine in a larger group turned to pot in this smaller group and I just looked as if I was having a stroke. (Lord I hope it doesn’t count for much in the audition!)

 When we left the room, I asked Andrew how his audition went and he told me that they asked him to sing the Papa Ge song as well. (snicker snicker).

Callbacks are on Saturday 30th January and only then will I know my fate.

So………was I really wrong to do what I did?

The truth is……(bows head in shame) I had planned to do it in rehearsals later on if the person (at the time I didn’t know who it would’ve been) who had the Agwe part didn’t sing it well. I was going to be that nasty person. But I heard a lot of really good voices on Saturday so who knows what may happen, especially when karma is poised to bite me in the ass for being sneaky.

So, can I be forgiven or redeemed?



Posted by on January 25, 2010 in Emotions, Entertainment, Music


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HAPPY NEW YEAR Everyone!!!


Let’s see what 2010 holds for us.


2009 wasn’t a bad year at all but each new year brings new hope., new dreams, yadda, yadda, yadda,  blah, blah, blah etc and a joy in your soul. (We all know the mumbo jumbo positive crap that is spouted all time so no need to rehash it here.


My year started off peaceful and full of hope. I decided not to be too hung up on resolutions as I already know what I need to fix in my life and technically how to do it. Here is a list of some of the resolutions:


1.      Be More Creative: 2009 saw me stagnant in terms of creative output especially with regard to singing and acting. I’ve already taken steps to correct that but I need to be more forceful in making sure they are executed in a timely manner

2.      Reduce Procrastination levels: Boy can I put something off!!! For example: In 2008 I cleaned out my closets and filled a large suitcase full of clothing that I would donate to charity. That suitcase is still in the hallway of my apartment in 2010. It never moved. I just kept adding stuff to it and removing stuff that I thought I missed.

3.      Exercise More: I always have this resolution and to some extent I do try but do to the power of procrastination, well things don’t always go well. I am committed to tennis twice a week since last year and hopefully I will find another activity to increase my cardio workout. Plus I have some clothing that I decided not to donate since I would use it when I lost the weight again.(If another year goes by and I still can’t wear then, well hopefully I would take the hint)

4.      Increase Savings Threshold: Between my lovely car (that gave me no trouble for the rest of 2009) and my love of food, I need to cut down on my expenses and concentrate on increasing my savings level. I am blessed to still have a job with these weird economic times and I should try and maximize my savings instead of spending it on Haagen Dazs Sundaes, CDs (not giving that up) and other stupid stuff that when I look around my apartment I realize that I hardly ever use it (No more Swiffers, Swivels, Dust Mops , etc).  I know that I can save more money if I try but sometimes you just want to treat yourself and then it happens that you keep treating yourself every week or month as the case maybe. Plus I need to make a trip to Europe this year. Matthew, how about a couple days in Greece and maybe see the Greek isles like Lesbos and Mykynos?


There are a few more resolutions but since I try to keep my blog PG-13, I will keep those to myself thereby not causing anyone to voice their self-righteous indignation at whatever their warped mind thinks I may or may not be doing. Sigh. Life is like that.


I gave up a long time ago trying to please everyone in my life as in the end I was making them happy and I was becoming more miserable by the day. What starts off with nice good intentions always turns ugly when people abuse ones good nature. No more of that nonsense will be happening. Well I’m sure some will happen but percentage-wise, it will be in the single digits.

The craziest thing so far to come out of this new year is that someone gave me an affirmation that they think I should say often. Now an affirmation is one of those things, these “New Age” self help gurus are using constantly to help people imagine and claim the positive things in their life. I have partly read enough Self Help books to know that these things never work and it can sometimes lead to serious disappointment.

A lawyer at my office, told me that she thinks that I am a really nice guy and couldn’t understand why I was still single. When I told her that the people you meet initially who seem so well “put together” and bigger messes than she and I can hope for. She then asked me to describe my ideal mate and what I look for in one.  I was able to tell her what I look for in one because I am not one for confining myself to body types. Beautiful people come in all shapes and size, so do ugly people.


Then she declared that she had an affirmation for me that would guarantee I have a better outlook on love and relationships for 2010.


“I open my mind to have someone who is not possessive, who loves me freely and who I am free to love”


“I am deserving of love”.


I laughed so hard when she gave it to me as I assumed that she was full of Shhhh…. It just wasn’t what I expected. I placed the affirmation on my Facebook page and WHAM BAM!!;.i get a message telling me that a friend of mine has someone she would like me to meet. Sigh.. I loathe blind dates. Someone always has more information than the next and therefore has time to plan their attack or retreat.  I was hesitant about it but I went along with it.


While I shall not reveal what transpired at the event, all I can say is that I tried on like 7shirts before I actually found one that fitted me properly and the service at Tamnak Thai was horrible but the food was GREAT!! The evening was very entertaining and I laughed a lot during it.


So after this event, I begin to wonder what new adventures does 2010 hold for me? Is this the start of a new round of  serial dating for me or is it that something magical is gonna happen for me?



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Posted by on January 8, 2010 in Uncategorized