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Monthly Archives: February 2010

Worrisome Heart


                                          I need a hand with my worrisome heart…….

 

On a daily basis I am bombarded by people wondering why I am either still single or why I just haven’t made a commitment to anything in my life. Some cite my fear of the word “commitment” as the primary reason for my present state, others just simply say that “I’m too happy” to worry about all these matters.

 

No matter how you put it, part of me is not ready or doesn’t feel ready to make certain decisions or actually fit into the perceived status quo.

 

Why all this ramble? Well during rehearsal for “Once On This Island” last night, a fellow cast member, just turned to me on one of our breaks and uttered the following statements:

 

Cam: Hey I have a girl for you. Yuh want de number?

Me: is she cute?

Cam: Steups of course she is. She is a St. Lucian doing her Phd and she is very nice.

Me: Ummm I don’t know

Cam: What is your problem? You not a spring chicken anymore yuh know.

Me: How old is she

Cam: 35

Me: so she aint no Spring chicken either. Actually she needs this more than I do.

Cam: Look all creatures are supposed to couple and you as a 37 year old single man are not following the path.

Me: Well the difference with other creatures is that we are given “free will” and I choose to be this way.

Cam: It is unnatural and a strong African man like you shouldn’t be in this state.

(African? You know I never heard someone call me that before)

Me: Oh I See

Cam: So yuh want de number or what?

Me: I’ll think on it.

Cam: (turns to another guy) so u want me to set u up to?

Other Guy: umm no thanks. Plus I am spoken for already

Cam: Is she a nice woman?

Other Guy: No he is a really nice Venezuelan man

Cam: Oh ok (she looks away and turns to me again) Right I will organize you.

 

Normally a discourse like this is a slight annoyance and I just don’t bother to give it any attention but she point out some hard facts in there that I haven’t actually dealt with or even considered.

 

                                      I need a break from my troubling ways…….

 

HARD Fact #1: AGE

I’m 37 Years old. WOW!! I’m three years away from 40 and I have no children, no mortgage, no picket fence etc. At this age my parents already had children and some of us were already in secondary school (My older brother and I). WOW!!! Something must be wrong with me if I have managed to get to this age without siring an heir. 

 

The thing is….I don’t feel this old nor do I feel as if I am missing something. My parents got married early and they never experienced half the stuff I have done. I have no regrets in what has been my life so far. I just keep thinking that I need to do more and that there are things on my list that are still not yet done. While having a child is on the list, it is not exactly a high priority. Should it be?

 

Wow I’m old!!! In this production I am almost ancient compared to the 22 year olds that make up most of the cast.  I am resigned to being the one they might ask for advice from. Oh great,, Dr Phil here I come!!!

 

When did I turn into the old guy? Why wasn’t I consulted? I still look at other people and call them “Sir/Madam”.  Where did the gray hair come from? Why can’t I stay up late as usual or why do my knees hurt so much after exercise? While I can give 1001 explanations for the occurrence of these things, let me just end it by saying…sigh..I’m OLD.

 

HARD Fact #2: Coupling

I’m single. All creatures couple. I haven’t coupled with anyone. My attempts at coupling have been absolute disasters (65% of it may be seen as my fault). In the early stages I always went after the things that just weren’t interested in me or just were BAD!!!! After that phase (am I really out of it yet?) I just resigned myself to being drama-free and to enjoying the friends I have and love.

 

The desire to couple has never really been there. I never did buy into the TV/Movie hype on love and when I did decide to give these things a try, they always ended in my heart being broken (rarely..lol) and someone telling me that I am evil (often..very often).

 

It is not that I am a bad person but I just abhor drama and detest acts by individuals to limit or control a person’s movements. Trust is a big thing in my life and while disappointment may feature in it more often than I would care to admit, I still hold myself to the higher standard.  It doesn’t take a lot for me to say that I don’t trust someone, it actually takes a lot more for me to trust them.  It is easier to assume the worst of someone and have them surprise you than to place them even on the slightest pedestal Who knew that in this day and age that asking someone to tell you the truth would be a deal breaker?

 

Anyway I digress, many have cited that my lack of successful couples (role models)  in my life may lead to my inability to do the same but I just laugh at it.  Not to sound clichéd but “I just haven’t met you yet”.  

 

So why is it that when people try to “set me up”, it is always with a friend that is bordering on “crazy” or just a weeeeee bit more dysfunctional than I am. I will not talk about any blind dates recent or otherwise but at my age, you kinda know instantly if this person is a “dud” or something “special”. Still waiting on the special though.

 

CONCLUSION

That last point was a scattered one but all in all I have no regrets about my life so far.  I would’ve liked to have been a daddy by now but when you are in the midst of fully understanding who you are and achieving your dreams, I don’t think that love would spite you for it. It will know when it is to come and won’t try to limit you.

 

Jeez there I go sounding like a hopeless romantic.  A cynic I can accept. A romantic? Ummm the jury is still out on that one.

 

All in all I just needed to write this one out because Cam sent a shock through my system with how bold she was in her certainty that my life is not in balance. I guess if some part of me didn’t feel that way, then it wouldn’t have bothered me.

 

Oh well, the feeling has passed now.

 

Later…..

 
2 Comments

Posted by on February 26, 2010 in Uncategorized

 

Oh What A Night!


Oh What A Night!!

 

Not that my commentary is necessary in the slightest, but I just needed to speak (a little) on the Grammy Awards that concluded last night.

 

Here are some random comments on some of the events that occurred on the Grammy Stage Last Night

 

PERFORMANCES

 

Lady Gaga & Elton John:

Ummm ok this performance really did move me. More like it felt like everyone as usual was endorsing Gaga as being the new “It” girl for the weird and slightly outcast. Using Elijah Kelly (Seaweed Stubs – Hairspray) as an announcer during the opening number was interesting but not that effective. GRADE: B

 

Green Day & The Cast of American Idiot:

 I was hesitant about this number due to the fact that sometimes Broadway people have a tendency to “over-sing” a song, but this was handled nicely. The three girls were strong and handled the material well while keeping some “rock” flavour with it.  Too bad the leader singer of Green Day was not heard at all when they all sang at the end. GRADE: B

 

Beyonce

I think I had a mild stroke during this performance when she segued from her “If I were a Boy” to Alanis’ “You Oughta Know”. Certain songs should not be touched or interfered with. This song is one of them. Foxy Cleopatra needs to go chose someone else’s song to butcher. Stick to the “Ave Maria” (I never cared much for that song anyway).

 

Of course it didn’t help matters that she went into a mini- Dutty Wine after the Alanis song. Then the whole hair blowing fan- thing occurred and I felt my left eye twitching ferociously. Alas I did not have my phone near me to save me from this stroke.

 

Overall, it was as usual a wee bit overdone. GRADE: C+

 

Pink

While I’ve heard reports that she did something similar for the VMAs, I really don’t care. I really enjoyed this performance and it showed just how versatile a performance Pink continues to be. All those acrobatics (hanging in the air, then being doused in water), while singing on pitch, on point and in key must be one hell of a workout. She handled it beautifully and while the song (Glitter in the Air) was not that memorable, I will never forget the performance. GRADE: A

 

Lady Antebellum

YAWN!!! I think I had a bathroom break here!! GRADE: C

 

Black Eyed Peas

This group is always a mystery to me sometimes and with this performance they weren’t. While strong for the most part, it brought nothing spectacular to the table. Plus I’m still puzzled by the purpose of the other two in the group (The tall girl and the hobbit). GRADE: B

 

Bon Jovi

While I don’t care much for their recent work. They are still a force to be reckoned with. Plus they did “Living on a Prayer” GRADE: B+

 

Maxwell with Roberta Flack:

I got a lot of bad feedback about my joke on Roberta Flack for her botox enfueled/ whiplash look during her performance with Maxwell but I have no regrets over what was said. While her voice was strong and as usual, at an pitch perfect tone, her appearance left me a bit startled and I never fully recovered.

 

Maxwell can sing the phone book for all I care. His voice was a little shaky in parts over this song but once cannot deny the stellar artiste that he is and the smoothness and style he bring to any performance.  GRADE: B+

 

Jamie Foxx, T Pain, Slash and Doug E. Fresh

I was amused. The fake operatic performance at the beginning was very cool. Overall, creative and good for what it was. GRADE: B+

 

Drake, Lil Wayne & Eminem

OK. Cool. Nothing I haven’t seen already. GRADE: B

 

MJ Tribute

Nice. Really Nice. Would’ve preferred a medley of songs but I’m still good: GRADE: A

 

Dave Matthews Band

I Love that song. They can do no wrong for me. GRADE: A

 

Taylor Swift (kick) with Stevie Nicks

I know at this moment Stevie Nicks is not speaking to her publicist who talked her into doing this duet with Swift(kick). It was horrendous. From the get-go I started to jingle my house keys hoping that Taylor would actually find a key and stick with it. She was all over the place.

 

Stevie Nicks came in and I started to smile. Then they started to sing “Rihannon” and I left the room to get some Panadol (just in case another mild stroke was pending). Then they jumped into Taylor’s “You Belong With Me” and I knew all was lost.  Stevie couldn’t help her no matter how hard she tried and I was then fully convinced that I would NEVER EVER buy her album. GRADE: D- (it would’ve been F but Stevie Nicks can never get an “F”

 

OVERALL COMMENTS

·         What is a Justin Blieber (sp) or a Kesha?

·         Those are not his children at all!!!

·         Whose child did Rihanna and Jay Z bring to the stage?

·         Where was Kanye when you really needed him?

·         STEUPS!!!! Really? Why not “Use Somebody?

·         Thank God, Maxwell won two awards.

·         Heather Headley finally got a Grammy!!!

·         Oh that Patriotic song with the country band just wasn’t cutting it

·         Sigh, it’s still a popularity contest.

·         Why does Mos Def always sound as if he is always “high”?

·         Hasn’t Placido Domingo learnt English as yet? He obviously has the same English teacher as Penelope Cruz.

 
4 Comments

Posted by on February 1, 2010 in Entertainment, Music, TV

 

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