“Heaven help me for the way I am. Save me from these evil deeds before I get them done…”
– Criminal, Fiona Apple
This weekend I had some fits of rage that just came out of nowhere. It even scared me a bit especially the one that occurred on Sunday.
Normally, I’m a bit of a sarcastic person and so droll comments may seep of out my mouth from time to time but nothing that would cause raised eyebrows or people to stop and stare at what is going on. Alas this weekend, wasn’t such a time.
EPISODE ONE: The Girl with the Meat Choice
Location: Long Circular Mall Food Court
I had not eaten breakfast that morning (an Ensure Shake does not qualify as breakfast no matter what the label says) and so by the time I got to the mall I was really hungry. Trying not to stray from the diet I am on (another blog will explain that), I decided that I will go get soup from “Soup it Up”.
Now I like this place a lot. It lays out the ingredients for soup nicely in front of you and then at the end they ask if you want corn or split soup as your base. I therefore can make my own soup and go heavy on the dumplings as I always like to do. I usually take carrots, dasheen and sweet potato followed by three heaping spoonfuls of some small but very soft dumplings. Then I add the meat (usually beef) followed by the split pea soup as the base. Chadon Beni sauce along with pepper sauce are then added and I am ready to go. (as I write this my mouth is watering for it).
Anyway, on this day, the line is a little long at Soup It Up but surprisingly moving rather fast, until it reaches the girl right in front of me. Now there is only one person doing everything today so I knew there would be some waiting time involved. However, everybody seemed to know what they wanted and soups were being dispatched in quick succession. I was happy,
Then came this girl who was all smiles and kept looking at the ingredients as if it was the first time she was seeing them.
Girl: Was dat?
Girl: Oh Carrots. Ah go have some of that…….ummm nah I don’t want too much (she turns around) Honey you think I should have carrots?
Girl: umm ok yeah carrots…and some of that ..yeah potato.. and am some green fig…
Server: What is your choice of meat?
Girl: What kind meat do you all have?
At this point I am boiling, FOUR other people went before her and the list of meats is on a sign RIGHT IN FRONT HER FACE!!!!
She stares and stares and stares and stares at the meats. Looking lost, she turns to her honey for help. At this point I could take no more.
Me: Lady, is not a Maths Exam!!. Is just Meat!! Hurry up!!!.
Her honey looks at me and so does she. She then points quietly to the chicken and proceeds to tell the girl to pack it ‘to go’.
The lady behind me whispers “Thank you” to me but I barely heard it over the hunger screaming from within for soup.
The server comes back up and apologises for the delay. I told her that it was not her fault as everything was laid out and labelled for people to read. Unfortunately, the girl before me lacked that ability.
I got my soup and had it right away. It tasted amazing.
All was right with the world again.
EPISODE TWO: The Shouter
Location: Scotiabank Carpark, Ellerslie Mall
Nothing upsets me more than people who can’t come off their phones for TWO minutes to properly park or manoeuvre their car into a spot. It just ticks me off because what should be a ten second manoeuvre turns into a 5-point turn and a two minute wait for everyone else waiting to wither park or find one to enter the mall.
I had just returned from purchasing food from Kitchen Creole across the road from the bank, and I was about to reverse out of my space when I realised the car next to me was doing the same thing. I let the lady next to me go first. As soon as she cleared I began to ease out as well. There was a black SUV way behind me that I kept waving to let them know I was coming out as well so they had to wait. But did they? Nope…that would’ve been too much trouble.
Instead the SUV proceeds to rush into the old space the other car just vacated but couldn’t turn into it properly. Reason? The damn person was talking on their phone and while trying to turn into the spot.. Not even an inch of the car was near the big open space.
I proceeded to reverse because the SUV was no where near me. Then as I pull out more I see the SUV heading for my bumper. So I stopped. Then I heard the horn of the SUV and this woman winds down her window to tell me that I not looking where I going.
Yes folks, she said this to me while holding a phone to her ear.
I got out of my car and walked to her and said the following:
Me: If you could get off de DAMN phone and pay attention you would’ve seen me all the time trying to get out. But you on de F-ing phone and not paying attention. Lady doh try my patience today.
Her windows went up as I was saying this.
I got back into my car and reversed out fine and was on my way when I heard a faint sound of someone calling me the equivalent of an unclean person of negroid decent.
My car stops and I come back out and what was said is not fit for this blog nor for the sensitive ears and anyone that heard it and stopped to maco.
I berated her for being incompetent and careless in her driving and her phone use. Apparently I kept repeating : “ You really couldn’t have put down the M%$% F@#% phone!!!!”
I got back to my car shaking at how angry this woman had made me and some of the stuff that had been blurted out of my mouth.
I drove off and stopped at the Savannah just to calm myself down. Never had I been so worked up over a situation. Thank Goodness I ordered Macaroni pie from Kitchen Creole, I needed something, non-diet like to calm me down.
I am not proud of any of these moments but what I am trying to figure out is what caused me to become so incensed at these two people? Normally I would’ve just mumbled under my breath and driven off or just mumbled enough for the person next to me to hear.
What is this desire to speak out? People can get killed for acting up! Why am I getting so angry?
Could it have been the diet? Could it have both been as a result of not having eaten at the time? Or is there some latent issue I am not dealing with that surfaces at weird moments?