“What must it like to be in your head?”
These words are said to me often by my good friend Clint whenever I am relaying a situation or experience to him. I usually laugh when he says it but sometimes it causes me to take a few giant steps back and re-analyse certain situations. Most of the time I stick with my initial reaction or decision (well I’m stubborn like that) but sometimes I have to regroup and make adjustments to my thought process.
I always pride myself in living in the land of “Logic”. I am told that myLandofLogicis slightly different to those of others. I usually say I live on the Logic continent while you are on an island. Of course that doesn’t go across well at all but you catch my drift. Anyway, I write all this as a preface to my point of discussion:
FRIENDS – What are they? Who are they? Are they real? Do you need them? Is there a point to them? Sigh…..
Recently I was deleted off of someone’s blackberry and I sent them a text expressing my confusion as to the deletion. I was told that they were tired of being the only one working on the friendship and that I was not making an effort at it.
Err ok…..What exactly was I doing wrong?
“I want you to want to do the dishes” was the response.
I immediately got confused. Not only did I catch the reference to that HORRIBLE Jennifer Anniston/Vince Vaughn movie “The Break Up” but what the hell did that have to do with friendship?
I want you to want to lime with me. I don’t want you to feel obligated to go out if I ask. I see you going out and taking pictures with all kinds of people but you never invite to any of these things.
Err that’s because other people are inviting ME to events!
I am not begging you for anything. I just want to be friends.
Err ok…Your view of friendship and my view of it are COMPLETELY different. Friends are people I can count on. I don’t need to see them everyday but I know they have my back and are not going to think I am neglecting them if I go out with someone else. We understand our relationship and how special we are to each other. The nature of that relationship is based on Trust and Understanding.
You don’t get it. You are blaming this all on me because I decided to take control of my life and sever something you don’t have the courage to do.
Umm….Are you severing a friendship or the hopes of us hooking up? Anyway, you do what you gotta do. When you need me, I’ll be here.
Must EVERYTHING revolve around someone wanting you? Steups
People….Am I missing something here?
I totally get the reference to my inability to sever relationships with people as I try as much as possible to be cordial with everyone. I don’t believe in burning bridges that just needed either some repair work or not be crossed for extended periods. Some bridges cannot handle too much wear and tear and some just need time to settle into its foundation before any kind of heavy traffic can pass over.
If I decide to “burn a bridge”, trust me when I say that there is no going back. I am not one for drama so you won’t see or hear any loud explosions signaling that a bridge has been disintegrated. Nope, all that will happen is that the access road will be cut off and the bridge ceases to exist in my world.
I take friendships seriously. My friends are like my grandmother’s teeth: “Few and far between”. There is no need for drama with them.
My take on the above conversation has to do more with someone wanting more than friendship with me and not being satisfied of my approach. Granted I could’ve handled it better and made some time to hang out but I am one lazy bastard.
I’m getting old and it becomes problematic to do all that hard work in making new friends. I don’t have the energy I once possessed to go clubbing or drinking or hanging out every night. I like my bed. I like my alone time. This body no longer desires to be out playing pool and drinking at some ungodly hour when I have work in the morning.
I tell most people that like in “Cinderella, I change into a pumpkin after midnight. So get me home before that.
Otherwise, as a co-worker once said to me after I bombarded them with a series of emails and a phone call, then came to their desk to ask a question….
REST MEH NAH!!!