Cleaner: Steforrn excuse, can I aks you someting?
Me: Sure. What’s up?
Cleaner: Why yuh does torture meh so?
Me: (Laughs loudly) Wah?
Cleaner: Yuh see. Why you laughing at me? I serious. Yuh does torture meh.
Me: What do I do to torture you?
Cleaner: Yuh does stand up in de corridor and watch me pass and if I dont tell you Good morning you doh take yuh eyes off me
Me: Dat’s because you suppsoed to have manners and say hello to people when you see them
Cleaner: (Holds head) Why you so? I trying to conduct myself proper in de people workplace and you making joke.
Me: No, whenever i pass people in the corridor i greet them. Is something wrong with that?
Cleaner: No but is how yuh does watch meh. Like yuh up to no good
Me: (laughs again) up to no good. I am just being nice but you always playing “stush”
Cleaner: I can’t play “stush”. I am not of your calibra
Me: What? You not of my caliber?
Cleaner: Yes, daz why when I ask you if we could go for a drink sometime you tell me no. You shame to be seen with me.
Me: Go and ask anyone on this floor if i hang out with them outside of work. Go ask. They will tell all tell you NO.
Cleaner: Daz not de point. Yuh yuh doh think i good enuff for you and daz why u don’t want to have a drink with me
Me: Did you listen to anything I say just now? I don’t lime with people I work with?
Cleaner: Well then I go leave this wuk and let’s see wah yuh excuse go be.
Me: You leaving yuh wul for me? Hmm I real special den.
Cleaner: Stefooorrrrrn why yuh so? Yuh know what ah mean! Look just tell me yuh doh like meh.
Me: Huh? Why I telling you dat?
Cleaner: Cuz is de truth. Yuh torturing meh. You know how many times i try and stop talk to you?
Me: What I do?
Cleaner: Nah i hadda protect myself from people like you who go break my heart.
Me: Eh? Break heart? I thought we just friends. How a friend could break yuh heart?
Cleaner: Cuz u shame to go out with me.
Me: Sigh.. Why you can’t see is not about you.
Cleaner: Look, just tell me yuh doh like meh and i go leave you alone.
Me: Well since you already make up yuh mind, there is no need for me to say it.
Cleaner: (stamping foot) Stefforrn!!! Why u can’t answer me straight?
Me: I just did. ButI not going to put words in my mouth to make you feel better. You hadda work it out yuhself
Cleaner: Ok I hear yuh. So I go keep asking yuh to go have a drink with me and one day you go say “Yes”
Me: Girl you mad yes, you only hearing what in yuh head and not what i saying?
Cleaner: Ok! Then let me stop talk to you then. Dat go be better
Me: (grins) Ok! but I still want a “Good Morning” when ah pass yuh eh?
Cleaner: (grins) Ok! Ah gone dey…..
And that is why, when I am assualted, people will say “It good for yuh!!”
How was your day?