While driving home from work yesterday, 107.7FM played Alicia Keys’ You Don’t Know My Name and it brought back sweet memories. I remember first hearing this song inGermanyin 2003 and loving it. The video with her and Mos Def was simple but super cool and mellow.
Then the bridge came on and for the first time I heard the song in a different light. You know the part I am talking about? This where she calls the guy on the phone with number she got because he put his business card in a glass bowl in the hopes of getting a free lunch. Anyway, read it now and tell me what you think:
Excerpt from “You Don’t Know My Name”……
Hello? Can I speak to — to Michael?
Oh hey, how you doin?
Uh, I feel kinda silly doin’ this,
But um, this is the waitress from the Coffee house on 39th and Lennox
You know, the one with the braids?
Yeah, well I see you on Wednesdays all the time
You come in every Wednesday on your lunch break, I think
And you always order the special, with the hot chocolate
And my manager be tripping and stuff
Talking bout we gotta use water
But I always use some milk and cream for you
Cause I think you’re kinda sweet.
Anyway you always got on some fly blue suit
‘n your cufflinks are shining all bright
So, whatchu do? Oh, word? Yeah, that’s interesting
Look man, I mean I don’t wanna waste your time but
I know girls don’t usually do this,
But I was wondering if maybe we could get together
Outside the restaurant one day
Cause I do look a lot different outside my work clothes
I mean we could just go across the street to the park right here
Wait, hold up, my cell phone’s breakin up, hold up
Can you hear me now? Yeah
So, what day did you say?
Oh yeah, Thursday’s perfect, man:…..”
Have I become that level of a snob that on hearing this after all these years I cringe at the thought that this conversation actually took place?
Would I really cringe at this waitress if she looked like Alicia Keys and could play piano? Ummm, maybe, maybe not.
Would I freak out as to how she got my number and wants to get together?
Then I realised I was freaked out by this situation only because of my recent experiences with “The Cleaner” and my resulting reactions to such.
What would I do if the cleaner got my phone number? I can tell you for sure, it won’t go as pretty as Alicia’s conversation went
Hello? Can I speak to—– to Steffooornnnn (Click! Dial tone….)
That would be it. Nothing more.
I don’t want to hear that she uses Pine Sol to wipe down my desk at work instead of water or that she is the one with the braids/curly weave. And I definitely wouldn’t be meeting her inAdam Smith Square orWoodford Square or theSavannah for any kind of “ get together”. No. No .NO!! I can’t and won’t cross that boundary.
Well maybe if she looked like Alicia Keys and didn’t have:
- Multiple kids or
- A teenager,
- A ex in prison or out on bail,
- Furniture on hire purchase from Courts,
- Any kind of court matter pending especially for assault or larceny
- A CXC Certificate (GCE/CAPE may be a stretch)
- A bad command of the English language
- Multiple hair colors or nail colors
- an outrageous/impractical weave
Yeah I think that’s it. I may consider it a date without those factors in play..
Who am I kidding? As I get older, I better be happy some bird willing to put up with my annoying “psycho analysing without a license ” ways and just be happy.
Here’s to hoping no one tries to assault or kill me for my views……
What’s your view on the song?