This is Not A Fete In Here………

01 Jul

This is MADNESS!!

Now see here!

Listen up People!!

When I go to the movies, I go for the escape of reality. To drown myself in another world where someone else has problems and is finding a solution in a comedic, violent, dramatic or sci-fi way. I just love the MOVIES!!!

What I DON’T like is having my movie going experience interrupted by a cell phone ringing and the person answering it and trying to talk above the movie into their phone. I also don’t appreciate the need to relate or talk through the movie with your significant other. If you want to discuss the movie, RENT IT!!  I did not pay money to hear you ask “Why is will power de color green?” or “How come the chinee boy from the other movie in this one” Sigh….

I just can’t win. And the thing is, there is no single  race, color or creed offender.  Everyone seems to do it. Some more than others.  Whether it be granny on the phone telling her nephew that the movie almost done so he has to come pick her up or the one who decided mid-way into Thor that she need to call someone to tell them to reschedule the meeting for 10am instead of 9am; everyone seems to not care about my movie-going experience!

However, I am most perturbed about recent events that have been occurring in Movietowne  –

The Influx of Natives:


One month  ago, while standing in line at the Concession stand, waiting to buy my Chicken Combo (don’t judge me, I take juice not soda with the meal), I see a girl go up to an empty counter and she is trying to catch the attention of one of the servers in the back

Ay… Ay… am….. you …. Gimme a Sweet popcorn dey nah”

“Maam no one is working at this counter, you will have to join another  line.”


She looks at both lines then walks over to my line  and repeats her order, interrupting the girl and her boyfriend presently giving their order. (I said girl and her boyfriend only because de bastard just stood there and didn’t pay for the food nor did he help her with the tray that included his food.)

“Amm excuse me but can’t you see I am serving someone here. You need to go to the back of the line”

“Steups,  me aint joining dat stinking line.  Is only one ting ah want.”

She turns to the girl at this time

“Amm excuse. Yuh could buy a sweet popcorn for me? Ah go geh yuh de money”

The girl obliges. I believe it was primarily out of fear because she realised that this girl had an obviously vanguard hairstyle that stood up and didn’t move. Plus she looked as if she was not opposed to fighting with anyone. In the meantime, the boyfriend has said nothing and he kept looking around while this incident transpired.

On seeing these events unfold, I whispered to myself…..”Movietowne need to raise their prices, yes“.  It was odd that the people around me heard me and concurred.

(Shucks, I need to remember:. Inner Monologue…..Inner Monologue)



“Ahm Ah keeping six seats for people,so no yuh cyah get dem”

“How come the commercials not in 3D?”

“These glasses hutting meh face. Ah go watch de movie without it”

“Why de light still on? Globe does take it off for Previews”

“Whey allyuh see dat commercial? It BAAD eh!!”

“Dey didn’t give me a straw and me aint see no ketchup bottles anywhere”

“Boy de have dem ting in silver containers to de side, just like in KFC.”

“Oh ok, go and bring some for me nah. Ah cyah eat dis chicken dry so”

“ahm  ah want a dollar from all ah allyuh dat i keep seat for.”

“Wey dis movie have REAL Commercials boy!”

“Look dat man nose like it in 3D!!” (Speaking of Shadow in the Radio Tambrin commercial)

“Dat Digicel commercial real bad hoss!”

“Ay…..Yow…… Ay Kerwin, yuh wah some popcorn (his friend is like ten seats away)”

“Nah man I good”

“Yuh sure? cuz I aint sharing none later.”

“Wey 3D bad boy!! Ah cyah wait for 4D”

“It doh have dat boy”

“Steups you aint see de commercial on tv de odder day? It have it boy!”

“Me aint watching no cartoon shit!”

“A wonder if I get to keep de glasses after?”

“If ah break it ah sure i could keep it!”


Strangely enough, once the movie started they were relatively quiet but HEAVENS TO MURGATROID they were super loud before this. The weird thing is that no one in front of me dared to every turn around and acknowledge the level of noise that was occuring. They were all scared.

Was I scared? Oh Hell No!  I know that one must never look certain animals in the their eyes or they will attack!

I was really curious as to how they all managed to be at Movietowne instead of Globe or even Cinemas 8. Then it hit me. It’s month-end and therefore this is their idea of splurging on something.

NOTE TO SELF: No more movies at month-end.


Posted by on July 1, 2011 in Entertainment, Movies, Uncategorized



2 responses to “This is Not A Fete In Here………

  1. Raphael El Youssef

    July 1, 2011 at 11:59

    being based in the US for so long and coming back home to live in Jan I find myself wondering if it’s PC to “like” this blog or not…it was a good read and a good laugh…

  2. Colin

    July 1, 2011 at 19:16

    This is some funny stuff man! I miss T&T!!


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