In the quest to become less overweight or to be classified something better than Obese Category 1 by a BMI Calculator, I embarked on a diet and exercise program. Diets aren’t really my think as I eat relatively healthy and have a lot of fibre in my diet etc.
Alas, I eat too much and at weird times. I know the fitness gurus tell you that your last meal should be around 6pm or for the latest 7pm but really……these skinny bastards obviously don’t go out to dinner nor do they have some measure of a social life other than the gym. While eating late, I will avoid heavy foods like pasta etc, but if I am hungry, I will eat ah food!
Sigh.. story of my life…eating….
So in the vein of cleansing the body of toxins, I’m here to confess my chubby boy sins/ quirks (as i don’t think they are that sinful)….
This is not asking for your forgiveness or judgement (which you will give anyway) but just to let you know the things that normal people do.
Chubby Boy Confessions
- I get weak for Peshwari Naan
- Me love “Apsara” with all my chickens!
- Chicken is a Vegatable
- I refuse to eat Lima beans (I was beaten to eat them so no more)
- I dislike Good Friday because of this memory
- I can resist doubles but not cheese pies
- Cheese bread (pao de queijo) is a magnificent creation by Brazilians (It’s like buttah!!)
- Drinking a lot of water dilutes the sugar content from cake/ice cream (leave me alone with my delusions)
- Know Restaurant Menus after one visit
- Rarely orders something different at restaurants (unless trying to impress someone)
- TGIF’s Shanghai Chicken Salad is a winner (for me)
- Peanut Butter will ALWAYS be on my diet.
- I rarely have desert after a meal
- Desert can be a meal for me
- Cake….Cake….sigh Carrot cake from Rituals always hits the spot.
- I don’t share it.
- Will have pasta any day over rice (yuck!).
- However, a mean pelau will win any day of the week!
- Fucelli pasta…..
- Each country I have visited/lived normally has at least one dish/item that I must eat when I make a return visit.
- I miss Living Water Community’s Lasagne! (Excellent but way too oily!)
- I scorn anyone who has to put ketchup and mustard on a pizza. (Savages!)
- If you recommend XXL clothing to me and it is not followed by “Our sizes are smaller than normal sizes” then you are in line for a beat down.
- I am a tad racist when it comes to the purchase/consumption of certain foods from local eating establishments. (Not when it comes fine dining or eating at someone’s home though)
- I make no apologies for my use of condensed milk for my coffee. It’s the only thing additive that doesn’t bring on bowel movements.
- I use a tablespoon full for my coffee. (Don’t judge me!)
- I only have one cup a day.
- A whole rotisserie chicken is nothing to consume in one sitting.
- Nor is a family size pizza
- I don’t do that anymore (I get comatose – ethnic fatigue at an unbearable level)
- My cooking skills are limited.
- My ability to place an order food is finely tuned.
- I always have food containers in my car trunk. (Just in case)
- And a jersey or two for moments where I may perspire more than usual.
- .I rarely eat from strangers. Go figure!!
And. that’s the story of Bert’s blanket….