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Monthly Archives: January 2012

Uncharted!!


Over the past month I gave myself a challenge. No it wasn’t a resolution.

I challenged myself to take a picture a day for the entire month of January. I know know people do the whole 365 day photo thing  but I gave myself this task as deep within the recesses of my weird mind, I knew I would not take the easy road.

I told a co-worker about my challenge and he scoffed at me and said: “That’s not a real challenge!”

“You will end up taking a picture of the museum, the zoo, a couple buildings, a sunset etc and then you are done. Do it for the year man!!”

I told him that the Challenge was that I could not go outside of my regular routine of each day and that certain buildings were off-limits lest other photographers I am friends with think that I am copying them.

He looked at me as if I was insane!

You need a wife and a child to occupy your time.”. He replied and went back to what he was doing.

I ignored it but I was happy with my choice of challenges and i knew it would bring me no end of joy!

Armed with my 3 cameras (at least two were in my car at any point in time):

  • Nikon D90 DSLR
  • Panasonic Lumix DMC FZ18 (large point and shoot)
  • Olympus Stylus 1010 (small point & shoot)

I began my journey that I knew would be fun and exciting!!

WRONG!!!

There were some nights that I got home from work late and when I laid down to stare at the TV to relax, it popped in my head

SHIT!! You ain’t take a pic for the day!

Yup and then the rush starts and I end up either cheating by driving out of my way to take a pic of a pan rack (Day 21) or guy playing a pan (Day 26).  I didn’t feel guilty at the time because my life is really boring and there is no way in any normal circumstance would i ever enter a panyard. I am not that “bourgie”,”earthy” or “stush” (whatever the word is).

Then there were times when i stood in my porch and just snapped like a crazy person hoping that something stuck (Days 4, 11, 16 and 19). Yup folks, if you look below, you will see Day 11’s photo, a freaking light bulb. I just couldn’t find anything to photograph and I was really tired.

Day 11

Then there were the times that I took tons of pics and I find my picture of the day in the weirdest place and all those pics seem to be wasted.

On Day 7 (Jan 7th) , I spent 30 minutes on the Foreshore taking pictures of the sun setting and nothing was moving me or feeling like “The PIC”. Then I see some crazy looking lady walking to the back of me and I snap a few of her and VOILA!!, i had my pic. Too bad the 55 pics of the various stages of the sunset will never see the light of day.

It has been fun and I learnt a lot about me, my likes, dislikes, my inability to make a decision over a picture and my slow but growing love for using photoshop and not feeling guilty for slight photo tweaks. I also love the idea of using a watermark/logo with my pics. It took me a while to decide on one and i got a graphic artist to bring my idea to life and I am proud of it.

So folks I present to you my 31 days of photos. Some will suck some will be sweet. Some I wish I had greater skills to make them better but the strange thing is… I love them all..

Day 31 was a shameful display of laziness. I was heading home and walked into the Supermarket to buy some bread and i took my Panasonic Lumix in there and just started snapping people without them noticing. Sometimes you get a coo shot and sometimes you just go…..

“Dear Lord, thank you for the job I have, cuz  I suck at this one.”

I stored the pictures in two locations: Flickr and my MSN SkyDrive

Tell me your thoughts,,,

 
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Posted by on January 31, 2012 in Entertainment, Photography

 

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All Coming Back To Me Now


There are always things in your past that, in hindsight, you wish you had not done and something things you wish your brain would forget. Sigh…my memories, my memories serve me far too well….

I am good at burying stuff in the back of my head and just eliminating the thought of it for a long time. This buried stuff however never stays buried as some trigger form my past or sometimes a smell brings the memories flooding back to the forefront and then I begin the process of trying to push it back down.

Sometimes it is easier to push it down. Most times I have to go through the motions and the memories so that I can find peace with it. Within recent times I have had to find peace with some memories that I knew could stay buried for long.

DIONNE
January 11, 2011 – A friend saw a memorial in the newspaper for my friend Zen Dionne Jarrette and asked me if the “Stefan” they referred to was me. I said: I don’t know and then everything came flooding back to me.

I remember that in 2008, I had spent part of that week in Barbados on assignment for work. I had left Trinidad on Wednesday (Jan 9th) morning and had looked at a present I had for Dionne that sat on my couch and said…I’ll give it to her when I get back. I arrived back in Trinidad on Friday night and before I could even get in my front door I heard that she had died of heart complications.

Death is not something I handle well and because not many people have died in my life, I don’t acknowledge them as being dead. I just put it in my mind that they “went” away and that I’ll see them again sometime. For Dionne, I put it in my head that she just moved away. At her funeral, I didn’t even venture near the coffin. I didn’t want to see her.

So imagine being told about the memoriam ad in the newspapers. The mention of her name brought back up feelings that, as usual, made me very uneasy. All of sudden there stuff I realised that I had never dealt with or spoke to anyone about at all. I had to sit back a bit and sort through the overwhelming feelings that stirred within me. There were people I wanted to blame (my self included) and stuff I wanted to say but never did because maybe I wasn’t a good enough friend or a true friend to her. . I keep wondering if I had given her that present before I left, would it have made a difference. Would it? Kind of selfish to think that but honestly I just kept wondering what would have made a difference at that point. . I am not one to get too close to people but in talking to her sometimes, she provided some unique insight into my paranoia and continual mistrust of people.

It’s been for 4 years since her death and for the first time, I came to terms with the fact that I will never see her again. I would never hear her cuss someone or buss out a loud “steups” at something. I no longer have someone who understands what I go through when sitting in a restaurant feeling tortured by the lack of customer service I experience too often to mention. I miss seeing her dressed all in black toting her camera and hearing the bangles around her arm. I miss her bravery and her lunacy most of all.

 
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Posted by on January 17, 2012 in Emotions, Uncategorized

 

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Edge of Glory….


I promised myself this year (no not a resolution) that I would stop obsessing about my weight.

I have spent the greater part of the last decade talking about my alleged man-boobs (aka tut tuts); my inability to fit into size 36 trousers;  my ability to ignore the salad bar at any restaurant and my complete refusal to ever wear a size XL T-shirt (unless I bought it at Benetton).  I have dieted, pretended to diet, joined exercise programs, bought Exercise DVDs that eventually were given away as presents (Yes you got them in good condition, so HUSH!!),  exercised like a beast, lost weight, put back on weight and you know what? Nothing… absolutely nothing happened.

I remember in about 2007/8, I had lost a lot of weight and some “Precious”-esque woman had accused me of starving myself. Eh? Me starve? No way!! .I did however exercise a lot during that time but it just wasn’t sustainable in the long run. .It never is… Healthy eating, moderation and the “alleged” small portions theory have all been used. They may work in the short run but are they sustainable? For me?..NOPE!!!

The problem with that period is that. I had given up way too much during that time. Peanut Butter, Cheese, Bread, Pasta, Fried Food, Rice etc were all gone from the diet. I had stripped myself of everything I loved/ liked and opted for (gulp!) Oatmeal, Beans, Salad and Chicken Breast!! Those were dark times, I still recall going into restaurants with friends and just ordering salad or meat only without any oil, or dressing and steamed vegetables. Oh Geed!!! Who eats like that on purpose (except the British!!).

Dark times indeed. I remember I was trying to impress a girl I thought was “The ONE” . We can call her Katie C. and  no the C is not for Courageous! So do you think my weight loss worked in my favour with her? Oh hell no! She regarded me as a “friend”. A stinking friend that she couldn’t “kiss meh ass” do without calling every fricking minute of the #%@%$#$ day  and asking me to sleep over as “friends”. STEUPS!! That  @#%##!&*) knew what she was doing, but NO I was wrong, I didn’t get it. We were just FRIENDS!!! 

NOW I realise what “The ONE” meant, “THE ONE THAT SATAN SENT!!!”

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Ok I just need a minute there. (exhales)

Ok Better!!

Where was I?

Ok yeah, I can become slightly manic about losing weight. I would join and quit gyms in a heartbeat and my list of excuses for not using them were long and winded (like me on a treadmill after 3 minutes). Some of the reasons were actually valid, most weren’t. They just provided me with excuses for why I am the way I am.  And there is nothing wrong with excuses, that is until some child rubs your belly like Buddha and falls asleep on it.

I like Me.  I really like who  I am!!

And since there’s no choice I am sure I and Me agree!

There’s nobody better, smarter, nicer, sweeter.

Don’t you see than me!!

No, I am not in denial. People (by people I mean the skinny, the hungry and the ab-riddled bastards) keep making reference to my need to slim down but I just don’t see it. I am not one of those heavy breathing/ really sweaty creatures they describe. Yes, my lips will never pass up the chance at cake and let’s not even get into Peshwari Naan, but I just don’t feel like a main cast member on Mike & Molly.

Yes, I will admit that I do need to lose some weight. We all do when we get up to my age in the scheme of things but how and when I do will be a function of my drive at the time.

The key for me is MOTIVATION. As we glimpsed earlier, I had the wrong motivation and well it didn’t work!  The motivation has to come from ME!!.  Over the past few months, I have been going to the gym and enjoying small victories. The mere fact that I pay monthly fees  and they still see me two to three times a week is a major accomplishment in itself.

I go mainly for cardio, as I need to built up stamina and until I find a good Personal Trainer, I’ll use what is at my disposal at present for help.

So folks, join me in celebrating who we are.

I am not going to be one of those people on “The Biggest Loser” or some diet themed show, nor am I going to be a “Before and After” picture on an Infomercial. I am just going to concentrate on good health and nice living. Keeping the stress factor down is important and I’ve been doing a good job at that.

So here’s to no more blogs on weight (unless I’m mocking other people’s weight ).

 Sigh.. This will be a tough year!!!

 
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Posted by on January 11, 2012 in Entertainment, Fitness

 

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Insane In The Brain


If this is how my 2012 is going to start off..sigh… May God have mercy….

While I love pop culture, I didn’t appreciate the following Broadcast that I got on my Blackberry last night and then this morning from multiple sources…

Beyonce & Jay Z Had Their Child
Named Her Ivy Blue…Now Peep This
Ivy = Illuminati’s Very Youngest
Blue = Born Living Under Evil
Spell It Backwards (Eulb Yvi) Latin For
“Lucifer’s Daughter”  HMMM

Sigh……Lord I know you are coming soon when madness like this is being spread around the place.

Blue Ivy

First of all, the person who wrote this obviously have less than a High School Level education and probably still lives in their parent’s basement or in the room they grew up in….They are INSANE!!

Reason??? Do I really Need One?

Let’s first ignore the use of  “Now Peep This” and concentrate on the content of the broadcast:
IVY – Illuminati’s Very Youngest
Very Youngest? Really? That is an actual phrase used by the world’s richest people that control EVERYTHING? Very Youngest? Sounds ghetto to me.

Blue – Born Living Under Sin :
Ummm, doesn’t the Bible say we all have sinned, so technically we were ALL Born Living Under Sin
So What is ORANGE or RED an Acronym for?

And unless it is a conspiracy (illuminati tampered) with EVERY Google Translator I have tried….Eulb Yvi yields NOTHING!!!

And Finally?

What are we supposed to do with this information?

Form a mob and go kill the baby? Steups……Where was the outrage when Suri Cruise was born?
And why is it that a BLACK baby is Lucifer’s Child when other races naming their kids all sorts of nonsense for YEARS and no one comes down on them? Pilot Inspector, Apple.Suri….(to name a few). Are we the source of EVERY problem in the world?

Some how I think not!

So what if the child’s name sounds like a brand of toilet cleaner ir a type of denim jeans or a up and coming porn star/drag queen. That is not our concern. If there is any justice in the world,the baby won’t be able to rap or sing like its parents. Fingers Crossed!!!

It will however, have more money than you will EVER earn in your lifetime…

Sigh…..God help us all…

 
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Posted by on January 9, 2012 in Entertainment, Humor, RANT

 

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Comfort Zone (Prologue)


So I got a delayed Christmas present today (as the person wasn’t in the country at the time)….

Sigh.. Sometimes it takes just a little to renew your faith in the power of Christmas and good gift-giving…

Since I have promised people not to mention their names in my blogs, i will respect my friend’s privacy.

But Thanks CK

No food was consumed as a result of this gift giving….I may actually exercise in victory.

NOT!!!

 
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Posted by on January 4, 2012 in Holidays, Photography

 

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