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Monthly Archives: February 2013

Spread your Hands……


And Let gooooooooooo……………Hand in de air everybody!!

Ah music!!

Call it what you want:

  • Mid life crisis
  • Lapse in judgement
  • Backsliding, or
  • Meds wearing off

It doesn’t matter. I decided last year, at the prompting of some friends, to play Carnival (mas) for the first time in *cough*cough*cough* (sorry) years. In case you couldn’t make out how long it was since I last played mas; let’s just put it this way, when I did, there used to be a band called Poison. Nuff Said!

Anyway, for those who have started praying for my soul and gossiping about what I am doing, let’s clear the air:

  • Jesus and I are fine
  • I know what I’m doing
  • I have always been responsible for MY actions
  • I needed a goal.

There!!

Now that those issues are out of the way, let me say “I had a BLAST!!”or as the uneducated masses tout “It was BESS!!” Who knew that being on your feet for over 8 hours a day could be so much fun and contribute to so much weight loss and toning. I recommend anyone trying to lose weight to try this special two day weight loss program. You don’t necessarily have to wine down to the ground like you have no owner, but keep moving for the entire period while remaining hydrated and I assure you that the pounds will fall off.

It is only on Carnival Tuesday mid-day did it dawned on me that this is why most vagrants in Trinidad are “ripped”. They walk all day. Who knew!

I digress. So I played mas with Fantasy in the section called Rio Azul and I had a really good time. The process of deciding to play mas came about as I needed to set goals for myself for my weight loss. From April to August 2012, I was working out with my trainer and I had not lost a single pound and it was frustrating me to no end. When some friends came up with the idea for me to play mas with them, I realised that I found a goal. I found a reason to ensure that I stuck to what I needed to do.

And so it began. Results weren’t as forthcoming as I had hoped but somehow in December, the weight started to drop off. In January, my trainer said: No Carbs, No Sugar!” I obeyed (well as much as I could) and I saw some improvement.  Can you imagine me going to all-inclusive fetes and all I dared to eat was meat and veggies? No curried dumplings, no doubles, no fries, no pasta, no (gulp) roti! It was difficult but for some reason I kept hearing my trainer in my head whenever I would go near to carbs and the thought that he might give me harder exercises for eating carbs made me stay clear. Sigh ..it didn’t matter anyway, the bastard still had me sweating up a storm during each session! There was no let up in sight.

Carnival Friday came and I collected my costume and then the fear set in. I was going to be bareback on the road for all to see. Anyone who knows me, knows that to take off my t-shirt on a beach requires a small ritual involving breathing and me taking off my shirt and running into the water as fast as possible before anyone sees me. (as if they could miss a hippo running on the beach!. Yes, yes, I do possess some measure of body shame.

Normally, while looking in the mirror in my apartment, I approved of how my body looks, however, my eyes seem to get distorted when I looked at it on Carnival Tuesday morning when the costume was donned. BTW -I am still trying to find the root of all these body issues within my mind. I may have to undergo hypnotherapy to find out! 

First pose in Apartment

First pose in Apartment

Internally I started to scream and I grabbed a vest quickly to cover up my perceived “tut tuts” and belly.  I also had issues with the fact that my section was called Rio Azul but the pants for my costume were blu-ish purple with pink rings. It looked as if the band didn’t care about this section at all and just threw together whatever they had left over from last year.  .

Anyway, the vest never made it to the car and I took my “fat” self to meet my friends and head to the band.

The first hour in the road with my body exposed seemed like an eternity. I was panicking internally and smiling outside but overall I was just fidgety. It felt like I was watching “The Hours” all over again but this time the Nicole Kidman’s character took an exceedingly longer time to change her facial expressions and Julianne Moore’s character!Good Lord that movie was long!! ..

Between the THREE HOUR wait on Charlotte Street that the band made me endure coupled with them having being NO BREAKFAST for the masqueraders, I stopped fussing over my body and weight issues and started to concentrate on other stuff.

I can't look at this one!

I can’t look at this one!

It is amazing how much of yourself you have to deal with when you don’t have a camera to distract you. Oh wait! I did have a camera! A small point and shoot Panasonic Lumix with the battery life of an AA Eveready!

So I began snapping pictures and fear subsided and I stopped having the urge to pull in my stomach when I walked. When the damn camera battery died, I resorted to jumping and dancing and making new friends in the band. Some women weren’t as welcoming but the few who were seemed to take to me like white on rice. A good time was had.

In the end, I stopped fussing over a lot of things and just had a good time in the band. I ignored:

  • the long wait on a smelly street,
  • the fact that we did not cross the stage,
  • the lack of breakfast (3 months earlier and I may have staged a protest for this one),
  • the uneducated staff on the “Drinks” trucks that perceived that whenever you asked for a drink you wanted Johnny Walker! (Sigh….we as a people are in a mess when it comes to drinking!)
  • the costume that kept falling apart, and
  • the speed at which some of the music trucks moved – this negro was not running behind anything after being on his feet for the whole day.

I laughed and danced so much on those two days with my friends that whatever troubled me was so not an issue. It made me realise that I fuss over nothing and I do allow too many people and their opinions to rent space in my head for free!

While Carnival may be considered the “devil’s work and playground”, it provided much needed therapy for me in terms of clearing my head and understanding that one can have a good time, sober (reasonably) and just being amongst friends.

There are rumors that I may have been seen dancing on a street sign/ pole or two but since I have no recollection of this, (and the fact that no pictures have surfaced), I believe these things to be lies from observers looking to tarnish my good name and character. Plus they were probably drunk.

Fun Times!!

Fun Times!!

Ash Wednesday met me in work without any pain in my body or tiredness. For this, I must thank my trainer, Stefan Charles, as I really don’t think my body would’ve recovered so well had he not been torturing it for three days in every week leading up to it.

As of today, I weight 218 lbs and I am proud of it. While I think the 20 pounds lost is a lot, I would like a tighter firmer body and so I begin the gym again from today.

My new goal for an improved body is now geared towards Tobago Jazz Festival (April 22-28th), so wish me luck!

Me thinks, turning 40 has either set me into panic mode about my life or it is just forcing me to have a little more fun than I normally do. Whatever is happening, I embrace it!

How was your Carnival period?

 
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Posted by on February 18, 2013 in Entertainment, Fitness, RANT, Uncategorized

 

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Breaking The Law


Breaking The Law

So there I was, stuck in traffic entering Diego Martin. Traffic is moving really slow and so I pick up my blackberry to check an email I just got from the office. I was reading it and getting really angry by its contents when all of a sudden I looked up and realised that a police woman was stopping traffic. She then turned to me and directed me to pull to the side of the road.

Ugh!! Are you serious? She is pulling me to side? I can’t believe this!

So I park and she walks up to the car window with her arms crossed and says:

PW: I can’t believe you were doing what you were doing?

Me: *silence*

PW: I was shocked that you didn’t even realise there was a police presence around you

Me: *silence*

PW: May I have your documents please

Me: Sure.

 

I reached inside my glove compartment and pulled everything out for her. She took them and walked back to her vehicle.

I guess you were wondering about my silence? Umm what was I going to say? I know when I’m beaten and I wasn’t taking a chance to answer in any form of a tone so that I may be carted off to jail because I was sarcastic or something. My brain kept telling me: “Hush Boy!” “Hush yuh mouth!”. Don’t speak!

After she entered her vehicle, every expletive I can think of starts flooding my mind as I am totally upset with myself for this infraction. I sit there and I can’t seem to recall what is the new fine for being on your phone while driving? I seem to think it is between $2000 and $5000. I of course calculate these things in lost CD purchases and then I realise that I might be eating Crix and drinking water for the rest of the month when I get this ticket.

She returns to my car and hands me back my license and insurance.

PW: Sir, is the address on your Driver’s Permit your correct address?

Me: Yes Maam

PW: Ok, then you will receive a summons in the mail

Me: A Summons? No no no no no no no.

PW: How yuh feeling now!

Me: No! what happened to the ticket? Why can’t I get a ticket? (my lips are squivering here!)

PW: Well sir, we do not have any books to issue tickets so you will get a summons in the mail

Me: That means I have to appear in front of a magistrate and stand in the criminal box at the court house?

PW: How yuh feeling now

Me: Like a Cunumunu!

PW: Ah ha. Yuh see! Now was that phone call that important?

Me: I wasn’t talking on the phone but reading an email. Traffic had not moved in awhile and so I started to read it

PW: An email!! Oh this makes it even worse! Can I see your phone?

Me: Sure! But why?

PW: I want to see if you responded to the email.

Me: I had not!

She takes my phone and looks at it and then returns it back to me.

PW: Well sir! You will now know not to drive and text.

Me: Umm is there any chance I can get a ticket? Can I drive you to the station to get a ticket book or something?

PW: (laughs) You funny yes! Unfortunately there are no ticket books and that is why you are getting a summons

Me: Just my luck! I am going to be embarrassed for all eternity

PW: I know how you feel. I had to appear before one two years ago because I decide to park next to a “No Parking” sign and I am supposed to know better. None of us are above the law

Me: I understand that but I just rather not have to go before a judge and feel worse than I already am at this point.

PW: Well sir, that’s how it is! Do have a good day!

Me: Thank you Officer…

PW: Beckles. Officer Beckles.

Me: Thank you Officer Beckles. I guess we will see each other again in court?

PW: I doubt it but make sure the next time I see you it is not for this offence!

Me: Yes Maam. Have a good weekend

PW: You too!

And there you have it folks. I am officially a criminal!

Feel free to pass me straight in the road.

I will keep you updated when I get the summons and when I have to go to court, but after this experience, my weekend was just “Bleh”!

And would you beleive that I caught myself text at a traffic light the next day and almost jumped out of my skin! Smh! We criminals never learn!

How was your weekend?

 
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Posted by on February 4, 2013 in Emotions, Humor, RANT

 

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