Tag Archives: Facebook



1.    Having “Craisins” as a mid-day snack results in more than the acceptable number of work bowel movements that I can tolerate. #newsnackrequired

2.    Apparently eating Apples with Peanut butter can help you lose weight. #jesusletthisbetrue

3.    People can ignore emails I’ve sent, but let me delay in responding to one…… #seepaulluck

4.    “Trouble” has been in the yard for an entire week. Something’s coming and I don’t think I’m ready for it.

5.    IMAX’s large popcorn is a less than a Regular Popcorn at Movietowne but more expensive? #how #whyjesus #fixitrowley #teef

6.    I like to see a new movie within the first day or two of it premiering. Having to wait on friends beyond that time period to go see it makes me really anxious. #ilikemyownway

7.    Liking to drink Cranberry juice doesn’t insinuate that I have an STI or UTI… #restmehnah

8.    I wanna play the Genie in Disney’s Alladin! #universetakeovernow #itsouttherenow #isaidit

9.    There are times after I’ve paid all my bills that I consider opening up a “Go Fund Me” page so that I can have a life.

10.  Referring to 9, if you message me about  Herbalife, FX Trading or Amway (Network Marketing) opportunities based upon what you read above, you will be met with intense hostility. #youhavebeenwarned

11.  On seeing the 2019 Cast of the Live Action Lion King, I keep seeing Beyonce ad libbing her lines and saying: “I’m Nala and I’m a whole lotta woman!”. I cringe everytime…

12.  As bad as “The Orville” is (w.r.t. Sci Fi), it’s still miles ahead of anything Tyler Perry could produce for TV.

13.  TV IDEA: In the style of the Greenleaf TV series, we should have a similar one call “Cuffie”. They already have the Palatial Residence and a Trini sized Mega Church, so it would be easy to make.

14. Dear Facebook, my humblest apologies but I have no nudes to send to you

15. Happy 16th Anniversary to Lion King Germany and Happy 20th to Lion King Overall


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Posted by on November 10, 2017 in Emotions, Entertainment, Fitness, Food, Humor, RANT, TV


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  1. I’ve meet those people who post GOT spoilers before. They are the same ones that talk through a movie. Posting spoilers doesn’t make you superior. It just confirms that you are the insecure ASSHOLE in the group.
  2. Why get upset with Pizza Hut for asking you to use the Take Away section when you want to dine in with a beer in your hand and your Buddy has a bottle of Double Dog in his? #confused #itmustbeafortnight
  3. To the person who created a whole fake Facebook profile to ask me what are the requirements to get a date with me. I’ll answer you in a timing
  4. Had my first debilitating migraine on Wednesday where at one time sight was a painful chore. That was a scary day.
  5. Still can’t understand why people stare at me weirdly when I’m with my godchildren. Are you all really trying to figure out the ethnicity of the mother that badly or if I abducted someone’s child? NEWSFLASH : Black people are least likely group to kidnap children.
  6. Still don’t understand why at my age people are still trying to set me up on dates. If I’ve offended you and this is how you try to punish me, then I prefer that you just slap me and get it over with.
  7. Started back the gym 15 pounds heavier than when I stopped 2 months ago. None of the usual morning gym attendees looked any better or fitter since my time away. #jesuslovesme #miserylovescompany
  8. What do you mean it smells like Ocelot pee? How bourgeois is your nosehole that you can tell the difference?
  9. Went to Yuma’s Cooler Band Launch and felt as if “To Catch A Predator” had set a wide net and was waiting outside for me if I attempted to talk to any youngster.
  10. I realized I shouldve opted to seriously not be there when two children that I’ve held as babies were there. One was smoking and called me “Uncle”.  Don’t worry, He is still alive….
  11. I think that is my last band launch since waiting to see costumes at 1am when you’ve been there since 10pm just made me STEUPS and go home right afterwards.
  12. No coolers were harmed during this outing.
  13. If you going to be all thought provoking with your captions on Instagram….. Learn to spell nah!
  14. I bet you think that last comment was about you. Did you just check your last IG post before continuing?
  15. There are still “Christian” folk I grew up with that pass me straight when they see me. To them I say: Don’t worry my sins aren’t contagious, but your self righteousness gives off a really pungent smell though. It’s the smell of someone that’s not anointed or purposed. #SHAME
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Posted by on August 17, 2017 in Emotions, Entertainment, Humor, RANT


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As Good As It Gets!

I was honestly going to let it slide but since my brain can’t let things rest until I have aired it outside of my head, here goes…….

Late Sunday night, I got a Facebook alert telling me someone had mentioned me in a comment. Curious as to why I am being mentioned (plus I like the attention) I looked;

Here is the result:

Umm I was shocked at the detail he went into and how personally he took every aspect of the movie. Many things sprung to mind the day after this Facebook post and here are a couple thoughts (some were expressed to him on his page).

• It is a freaking Zombie movie! What part of reality is this based?
• Someone takes my reviews seriously?
• Were there no positive racial tones in the movie? Wait! it’s a FREAKING movie about ZOMBIES!!! WHO CARES?

I read all the comments on his page and only one conclusion came to mind.

People actually take my movie reviews seriously?

I mean, come now, I post three to four sentence dribbles about movies I have seen on my Flixster account and some of those comments may appear on my Facebook page but I really don’t make much out of it. I just see it as one human ranting succinctly on stuff. However, to think that there are people out there who value my opinion on something…well… I feel….honored…even though my opinion is always just that.
MY OPINION! Ebert & Roeper I’m certainly not!

I have been known to be wrong on some occasions, not many, but just a few occasions.

I love movies! Always have, always will. I am one of those children that didn’t play outside much. It’s not that children didn’t want to play with me, there was just so much going on, on TV, in books and in the Cinema!!! Who wants to get sweaty when you can lie down with a good book and a pack of Crix or be in front of the TV with a bag of “Rough Tops” or “Shirley” biscuits, or at the movies with my usual staple: A Large popcorn and a bottle of water! Sigh…the simple pleasures

I just relish what I see on screen and transport myself into each and every world that is displayed. Of course, during the course of my life, I have exhibited behaviour like Keron and therefore expressed my displeasure at either the lack of “black” characters in a movie or the fact that they always die off early. Then I realised, if it’s a good movie, what does it matter? If these things bothered me so much then obviously I should be doing something about it instead of just complaining or boycotting movies.

But I digress….My awakening to how stupid I was being came one day in London while watching De-Lovely with my friend Matthew in one of the Odeon Cinemas. The movie was going really well and I was thoroughly enjoying it and then it happened: Nearing the end of the movie, they snuck in Natalie Cole singing “Every time We Say Goodbye”. At what was supposed to be a poignant and heartfelt moment in the movie, I let out a loud “Steups” and said “this is when they bring the black woman in?” Matthew was not pleased at all and afterwards made me realise that instead of enjoying the movie for what it was, I turned it into something about race, instead of what it was meant to be; a moment to have allergies at up.

I wouldn’t say that from that moment on, I was cured of my affliction, but over time I realised that if I made an effort to see someone’s work on the screen (be it Josh Whedon, M. Night Shama-lama-ding-dong, Adam Sandler or gulp Tyler Perry) I deserved to let them tell their story the way they wanted it told. After all it is THEIR story. Afterwards, I would make my usual comments about poor script or plot development or bad acting but I would never bring race into the issue, unless it was blatant like what George Lucas did in the Star Wars Prequels. Then again all those Prequels were bad on so many levels, you realise that all the money he had could not save a big budget disappointment.

Now I can expound on the virtues of loving yourself and understanding your place in the universe or ensuring that people create positive images for young children to look up to but that is not my place.

My place is as a viewer. To drink the “kool aid’ on screen and if it doesn’t agree with me, then so be it!

As I look over World War Z in my mind, for what it was it still isn’t a bad movie. I may not have agreed with some choices made by the director but the movie was entertaining. I loved that they chose to make the zombies fast paced and manic. It set my heart racing and well, my bladder could not hold the 32 oz drink for the entire movie, since my stomach contracted way too many times during certain scenes. I would definitely watch it again.

While Keron sought to highlight every bad decision people made in the movie using black characters, he somehow failed to see the bad other races (Well only Caucasians as he put it) did or even asked himself if he would have made a similar choice if he was in that particular situation.

SPOILER ALERT: I too would’ve made the same choice the Deputy Secretary General of the UN made once I thought Brad Pitt’s character was dead. Why was I keeping them on the ship taking up space? He transported them to a secure facility in Canada and not back to a zombie infested city!

So what if the black police officer decided to get some groceries too in the midst of chaos, is his family supposed to go hungry while the entire world goes crazy? At least he didn’t try to kill anyone like the Caucasian man was doing to Brad Pitt’s wife. Steups, why am I justifying a zombie movie!!

It irks me when people get all black conscious in a movie when those same people would sit through a stinking Tyler Perry movie that does nothing to uplift the image of black people beyond the stereotypes of being people who pray a lot after cussing out everyone for the first half of the movie (Sorry that’s called redemption). Every so-called heroine in a Tyler Perry movie needs a man to save her! Why is that? I just don’t get it!

At some point we need to get over ourselves. If we are not the agent for change in our lives then don’t expect others to do it for us!. If you cannot handle or like the way black characters are handled in movies then DON’T WATCH THEM!!! It is always going to upset you.

I am not saying to be totally blind but at some point your decisions have to be either to avoid these things that offend you or DO something about it or just grin and bear it.

I leave you all with a quote from a character called Melvin Udall from the movie  “As Good As It Gets”! Yes the movie had a low minority presence and the woman he said this line to was Latina (but it didn’t offend me).

“Sell crazy someplace else, we’re all stocked up here!”

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Posted by on July 2, 2013 in Emotions, Entertainment, Humor, Movies, RANT, Uncategorized


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It’s All In My Mind!


I write this blog for protection. For you to be my witness. I know it may seem one sided but I have no reason to lie to you. Honestly, the contents of this blog are not made up and any resemblance to persons alive is INTENTIONAL!


On September 13th 2012, I wrote this status update on Facebook:

  1. Dear God,
    Can I safely assume that I am close to or at the limit for “Crazy/Mentally Unstable” people that you would bring into my life? Because I am pleading the Blood a little too often these days!
    Love Always
    Stefan (not Stefforn)

I had written it at that time because out of the blue someone who I barely knew had approached me to lend them $50,000 to buy a car. This person was not employed; they weren’t a relative or close friend. I barely knew them. Yet they insisted that I was the best person to help them because all they needed was someone to believe in them. Err and you chose ME?

When this offer was rejected, they came back a day later and asked for $1200 to do a personal training course. By this time I was flipping out as I could not understand why this person was harassing me.  Anyway, after telling them what they would have to do for the $1,200.00, the calls stopped coming.

Yes I know I could’ve just told them no and left it there but if “NO!”  didn’t work for $50,000, I needed something extreme that didn’t involve cursing to remove this potential parasite from my phone.

But that’s not the main story.

I have someone that has been trying to rekindle a “friendship” we had when I think Noor Hassanali was President.  It wasn’t much of a friendship in the first place and due to some dodgy behaviour on her part, I chose to ignore her (as I do with most people).

Over the last few months, she has started calling my phone (I would not answer the call), texting me (intermittent text responses) and now she has resorted to sending me messages via mail. No not email, but mail!

Can I point out that she knows where I live (I have NEVER invited her in or showed her where I live)? A month ago she left an envelope with my landlady  who handed it to me one afternoon after I had just parked my car. (Envelope shown below)

Envelope 1 – Can in a white paper bag

I never opened it. I have no intention of looking at its contents.

On Saturday 15th September, while I was driving out of the garage, my landlady told me that there was mail in the box for me and that she preferred not to touch it. I laughed when she said it but when I looked at the package, I understood why.

The package was placed in a Ziploc bag and to the front there was what appeared to be a piece of bush wrapped in paper with writing on the paper.

I don’t know about you, but my granny’s voice kicked in my head and said “Lambkin, dat bitch wah kill yuh!”

Envelope 2 (with bush)

So here I am.  Confused, slightly scared and totally thinking about moving.

I find myself, more than I used to before, praying. Not only praying but pleading “the Blood of Jesus” on my life and asking for protection from these unseen forces that seem to be bringing to “crazies” into my realm.

I know what you are thinking. I must have done something to encourage these people because no one would just opt to do stuff like that without some catalyst.

The crazy guy was the bad personal trainer that I had for all of two months who barely showed up for my sessions and always had an excuse why he couldn’t be there. Turns out it was because he was either training someone else or drinking with friends. He said he felt that I looked like a trustworthy person and he needed someone to believe in him.

He need to believe in Jesus because “In God We trust. Others Pay”

The second person is….not a friend. Not someone I was intimate with and it isn’t even someone that I brushed up against even suggestively. As far as I can remember I NEVER touched her.

She had sent me a text on July 10th, out of  the blue, saying:

“Want 2 get married and stay married unlike your parents or mine?! Start talking…shout….scream if u need, only say how u truly feel”

Apparently I said nothing and will still continue to say nothing.

There was a text in French as well but I wasn’t bothering to translate it and I deleted that madness as if it was a penis enlargement email.

I was advised that I should burn the letters or just throw them away. A guy in work told me to escort said letters to the nearest police station and report them as evidence of harassment. He believes if I report it first, it would go along way into saving my backside should she trip out and claim abuse later on.

I prefer to move. Sounds like the coward’s way out but this aint no Lifetime/BET movie where we rise above whatever. This certainly will not end with anyone dead on my floor and police lights blazing over the place and me wrapped in blanket sitting at the back of the ambulance. Nope, that stuff only happens in movies.  I need to protect my black ass.

What do you think?

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Posted by on September 17, 2012 in Emotions, Humor, RANT


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Is It Just me….

or are people going crazy these days.

I get friend requests on facebook from all kinds of people (most of them I don’t know or have never met). I just have one rule when it comes to adding people to my Facebook page.

RULE: I must have had a conversation (face to face) with you at some point in my life.

Is that a hard rule? I don’t think so. I don’t add strangers! They creep me out and no good ever came from befriending someone you met over the internet. Call me old fashioned but I need to meet you in person and psycho-analyse you without a license there and then decide if you are worthy.

Granted I have been rejected by many people who didn’t think me worthy of entering their hallowed FB space or deleted me so that they could find inner peace, so I understand what people go through but I am still here and loving this life without them.

I always point out to people who seem to revel in having over 4000+ friendson their and then wondering why this random person keeps commenting on their pictures that “yuh look for it!”  I pride myself in the fact that  everyone on my friend list I can give you a story about how I know them and hopefully they only have good memories of me. Even though I’ve heard stuff like: “You used to tap me up in school” or “I remembered when you called me “bobo general” in the library for everyone to hear. Some of these incidents I have no recollection of and I always apologise to the individuals. LOL!

I am not a bad person at all. At least I would like to think so.

So when I got a friend request from this particualr individual, I think a bell went off in my head and said..ENOUGH!!

Take a look! (It’s been slightly altered to protect her in some way)


Now don’t get me wrong, it may be the correct spelling for her name (yeah right) but I just couldn’t bare it anymore.

What is the deal with people calling themselves Swagga-man Frank (really a name like Frank and you think you have Swag?)  and CutieFace-this or Sexy Barbie that? Are you that unhappy with your names? Don’t even get me started on people who decide to merge entire sentences as their middle names in the hope that someone will help them deal with the issue that going on in their heads.

So to SexyBarbie Idontgiveahdamnwhatutinkofmeiambess Jones….and all the others who seem to think that spelling and grammar at school was just keeping them back from being the next Tyra or Beyonce, WAKE UP!!!

Why can’t people just learn to spell? Is it that hard? I am not even asking you to learn difficult words, how about just remembering the ones you used in school?  You know A for Apple, B for Bat,C for Cat…..L for LION!!!

Come on people! Save our children! Save our Society! I shudder to think what will pass for spelling in ten years.

God HELP US All!!

Hmm maybe I should add her?

What do you think?


Posted by on August 3, 2011 in Emotions, Humor, RANT


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One Plus One

Realisation: I have way too many Facebook friends !

Reason for realisation:

All of a sudden, every Ted, Dexter, Debbie and Halcyon are posting links to Beyonce’s new song “1 Plus 1” and proclaiming it to be amazing. 

I am not a Beyonce fan and I will never proclaim her work to be epic. She has SOME really good tracks and when beaten into your head by radio airplay you can’t help but like them.  Others you wish would just leave your mind instead of subliminally making you recite it while doing work at the office or washing wares…..

Anyway, not the point I was trying to make.

Here is the first verse of the song and tell me what is wrong…


If I aint got nothing, I got you
If I aint got something I don’t give a damn, cause I got it with you
I don’t know much about algebra, but I know one plus one equals two
And it’s me and you, thats all we’ll have when the world is thru


Sorry I had to highlight the GLARING piece of nonsense that she put into the song.  Of course you don’t know much about algebra, because one plus one is ARITHMETIC, jeez its basic Math!!!! 

Could you not find a word to subsitiute into the song? You had to put that glaring piece of nonsense.

Now every dunderhead who never paid attention in school is gonna think they know something about Algebra when they know continue to know NOTHING!!!

And this is why we should not only worry about Lady Gaga infecting people’s minds with whatever madness she is saying in between her lessons of tolerance but we need to put surveillance on Beyonce, Tyler Perry, Tyra Banks and a few rappers that have been to jail on numerous charges.

Why no one follows or listens to Common is beyond me.  I once heard a youth refer to Jay Z as “ole school and boring” and immediately knew he would be pumping my gas in a couple years (sorry it had to be said).

So to the crazy beyonce fans who are fuming right now over this.


Cool yuh piggy!!

Beyonce doesn’t care what I think about her and so should you.

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Posted by on June 8, 2011 in Entertainment, Music, TV


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I Choose You

So I started the 30 Day Song Challenge on Facebook and immediately I was stumped by the first challenge.

Day 1: Your Favourite Song

Umm what? Just one favourite? I have like hundreds!

I could go on for hours just trying to decide which artist I love, then decide on a shortlist of songs by them. Then after I’ve narrowed my favourites to like 50 or so songs then I will have to listen to each and see which one moves me the most. This is wrong. It’s like a parent having to chose which child to save when both are drowning. (Ok that is a tad bit over-dramatic but you get my point. I shouldn’t have to choose.)

I felt pressured. I didn’t have the time to invest in such a lengthy exercise and I RESENTED having to choose ONE favourite song. IT IS JUST WRONG! Is this a symptom of my inability to commit to a relationship or even to pick a girlfriend? Does it go this deep within my psychoses that I am unable to make certain choices? Why are things that I have an emotional connection to so hard to decide?

Sigh……(Exhales) Hmmm Shoop Shoop Shoo Be doop? Oh Yeah She is good. That’s not a bad artist.  But Nah..

Still confused and becoming a tad bit emotional , I walk over to one of my CD binders and just began flipping through to see if I could be inspired.

Then I saw her and it was clear. There could be no contest. There would be songs that I would boogie too for years to come, but only “she” made music that fed my teenage and adult soul.

Janet Jackson won without even second guessing myself.

The song came much easier as it is one that brings a smile to my face everytime I hear it.

I love it and I love her. I swear she is singing to me in this song and the video reinforces my belief.

Yes! Yes! Yes! I would drink her bathwater!

I hope you like my choice.

DAY ONE: 30 DAY SONG CHALLENGE – Your Favorite Song

When I Think of You – Janet Jackson

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Posted by on April 21, 2011 in Entertainment, Music


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