RSS

Tag Archives: Life of Esteban

WEEK 30 – ESTEBAN’S FINALE

WEEK 30 – ESTEBAN’S FINALE

  1. “Darkie, Lemme go in front yuh nah! . All I have is this toilet paper”

“Is that how you ask a stranger for a favor?”

“Me aint have time for this nah.”

“Well stay right behind me since you obviously have no manners”

“Steups! All dat attitude for simple pass?”

“If you don’t understand what you did wrong then I can’t help you”

“Ah can’t stand allyuh bullers yuh know”

“Because I’m asking you to have manners, I’m a buller? Well this buller aint letting you pass!”

(Crowd behind chuckles)

  • Either Trouble has magical powers or I need to get new chains as she keeps getting loose and I can’t figure out how.
  • Saw a lonely puppy in the road and opted not to adopt for two reasons. (a) I don’t want to stress out Trouble and (b) I think she might drive the puppy to suicide ( Lord knows she bullies Heff and he is resilient most times but its takes a toll on him)
  • Within the past three weeks I’ve met 5 people with degrees from DeVry University. I still remember when it was just an IT school.
  • “Food by the Pound” places are not for me. My serving hand is too heavy no matter how hard I try take smaller servings.
  • You know things are bad with you when a homeless person can tell you to reduce your salt intake in order to get rid of your water weight.
  • Even worse when said homeless person recognizes you as someone he admired from Primary School but you have no idea who he is and his name isn’t familiar.
  • I think I had way to much fun anonymously commenting on all those people who were foolhardy enough to join SARAHAH. I however didn’t make everyone’s Instagram Story-feeds. I think some were blanked out or I just wasn’t funny enough. Two hours well spent. Heh heh heh heh heh *rubs palms together…
  • I’m not sure if the “Summer Movie Season” has started. I haven’t felt compelled to go weekly to see a movie as in years passed. Can’t see myself rushing to see Dunkirk.
  • Stared at a former co-worker like she was a freshly baked Coconut Bake with melted cheese. She didn’t appreciate the comparison until I explained to her how delectable such a combination is in the minds of most people.
  • Was invited to a take a short trip with a group of people I barely know but I opted to stay home for mental health reasons. The preservation of mine…
  • It’s always interesting when people who delete me from their Facebook profile try to send me a friend request and say “ deleted in error”. Umm you were sure when Facebook asked you twice before unfriending me, so what happen now? #foreverpetty #steups #missmewiththisBS
  • My Nikon D90 is on its last legs. I can feel the difference in its operation and the hesitation when I’m trying to snap a quick picture
  • Why do people expect me to get them birthday presents when they don’t even give me a “dinner mint” for mine. BTW if you give me a mint for my birthday, know full well you are getting the same one back on your day.

 

This is my last Weekly Chronicle for 2017. I thought I could keep up with it but my life just isn’t as interesting as I thought it was.

So keep your feet on the ground and keep reaching for the stars!

 

Tags: , , ,

WEEK 27–ESTEBAN’S SQUINT!

WEEK 27–ESTEBAN’S SQUINT!

  1. Week 27 and still not a Lotto winner. Off to work I go. Jesus, it seems you are really insistent on me working hard for everything I have? #patienceisvirtue
  2. If you are over 35 and you are telling me you going Wi-Fi silent, it means you have no data plan. At your age? Come now! #imjudgingyouopenly #judgeing #judgedread #postpaid #stopbeingcheap
  3. Cleaned the oven this weekend and realized that those oven cleaner fumes are potent. Think I knocked out for a five minutes on the floor of the kitchen.
  4. When you go drinking on a Saturday night and after your 3rd drink you stop because (a) your tolerance level is low (b) People started to look cute and (c) you started to feel chatty. Should’ve had Malta instead. #lightweight
  5. Dear Massy Stores, I don’t opt to pay your higher prices on food stuff so that I could pack my own groceries and tote it all to the car. Get your act together! #massystores #lazy
  6. So one part Heineken Beer and two parts Coke = Green Sands. Let’s see….Attempt Number 9 – when did I finish the Coke? I think I have an alcohol problem. Thanks eh Gerard Morton!
  7. .Nitpicking causes me to shut down. If I have reviewed something thoroughly and someone asks for cosmetic changes, I don’t do it. I’m over the document and have moved on.
  8. I’m ignoring the disrespectful people who asking how did Trouble do for SEA. She is doing SEA next year people!!
  9. While I try to stay out of politics, all I want to say is: Shouldn’t a Deputy Political Leader of a Party know better or understand the importance of Protocol?
  10. I find it rude and offensive when my main and back up toilets in the office are in use by other people. I’ve spent too much time gathering data on their locations in relation to my bowel movements for BOTH to be occupied at the SAME time. People are so insensitive!
  11. Is it a local conspiracy that if you order Beef on a pizza from ANY pizza place, they are so stingy with it that you have to search for the meat on the pizza like search for some politicians’ integrity? What going on? Why you doing it?
  12. I think I officially gave up on the Facebook Tests after they told me that I was 100% Indian and that my calling is to be a Pastor. Umm not even if I can recite Kanchan and Babla ultimate song “Kuch Gadbad Hai” and “Robobobo Shatai “with the best of them means this stuff is true.
  13. TRUTH: I never knew what I wanted to be when I grew up. I kinda still don’t know but I fell into certain fields that gave me opportunities beyond my reach.
  14. So KFC’s Smoke N Fire Chicken may not be spicy going in but coming out the other end…..Well Let’s just say I asked/pleaded for Divine Intervention.
  15. This is the end of the first week of July and TN AUTO still does not have my car ready. I am thinking of Legal Action at this point. No one is this slow intentionally!
 
Leave a comment

Posted by on July 7, 2017 in Emotions, Food, Humor, RANT, Uncategorized

 

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , ,