Tag Archives: Stalking

Thinking of You (I drive Myself Crazy)

I was accosted in public about a week ago by a young lady who had a problem with my blogs and the fact that I seem to paint a picture that all women are deranged and that I am just a hopeless soul, who gets tangled up in their “web of crazy”.

I immediately corrected her and let her know that in each instance of crazy that I had the opportunity to stop the progression of events, but my desire to have fun in my life seems to override this default setting.

“Then maybe you should write about YOUR instances of craziness towards women!”

I said I’d think about.


How dare she assume I have crazy moments? How dare she ask to me paint a less than stellar picture of myself into cyberspace for everyone to judge?

Then I remembered: “Oh yeah I don’t care what most people think of me”

There was a time when people’s opinions mattered and I always found myself in some kind of quandary. I was always trying to figure out how I am going to please these people or how I was going to make their opinions of me correct. But like a fart, that desire passed and boy was it a stinker coming out! Anyway, that for another therapy session blog!…

So I thought about my moments of non-clarity. My moments when I either took a leap and fell on my ass or when I had leave of my senses and just went with my flow.

Here are two stories for your amusement::


Picture this! St Augustine, 1999! I am “dating” this girl for a few months but we have not made it official. Well in my mind its official as I was spending enough time calling, texting and hanging out to consider this “serious”. In hindsight, I may have jumped the gun.

Anyway, there came a point in time when all of sudden she wasn’t returning my calls as frequently as before and she made a habit of cancelling our outings at the last minute. I sought counsel from friends. A “female” friend, suggested that I sit and have a talk with her and sort stuff out, while a male friend suggested that I play Private Investigator and get to the bottom of the matter. Can you guess which advice I used?

So I had made plans for us to double date with another couple to go see a play at the Central Bank auditorium. And while all week she was “gung ho” with the idea, three hours before the date , she calls and cancels and says that she isn’t feeling well.

Guess what I did?

  • I left her alone for the night so she could rest
  • I got medication for her and dropped it off
  • I went to the play without her
  • I did something irrational

If your answer was A,B or C, then I suggest you stop reading. If your answer was D, then read on.

I borrowed a friend’s car and parked at the top of her street around 6pm. Her car was parked outside so I knew that she had intentions of going back out. I just wanted to know where and with whom.

At 7:12pm, a green Nissan Sentra pulled up and a guy honked his horn and 3-5 minutes later, she emerged and got into the car and they drove off.

I drove behind them straight to Arima where they parked and started to walk to Windsor Cinema holding hands.(Who goes to Cinema in Arima?”

“My first impulse was to run up on you and do a Rambo.

Whip out the jammy and flat-blast both of you…..

So instead, I chilled. That’s right I chilled”

When they were on the same side with the Cinema, I drove up and honked my horn and called out to her. She turned around, saw me and strangely enough he looked stunned but not her..

“Hey, I’m glad I saw you! I won’t be able to make the lime tomorrow. So just let everybody know ok?

“Yeah. Uh huh” she replied in a quivering voice.

“Cool! Laters!”

And I drove off. (to around the corner).

As soon I was sure that they were safely inside, I punctured one of his tyres and went to get back my car.

I spent the night shaking. Not in fear but from the rush of everything that I did.

No one called me about the car tyre and she and I never spoke after that. Well I never responded to her calls.

So this is my confession of cowardice!!

Work in Progress

Work in Progress


Facebook and Instagram has made it extremely easy to stalk people from afar without fear of being detected. The only thing you need to be cognizant of:

If you ever meet them in real life: PRETEND YOU KNOW NOTHING ABOUT THEM.


So what if you are on their page constantly and now know their siblings and parents’ names or the name of their best friend… KEEP IT TOO YOURSELF.

I have two people in my life that I secretly refer to as “The Registry”. Reason being: all I have to do is given them a name, school attended or a picture and I can get a brief history of the person. The age of the internet has seriously diminished their usefulness but like a Public library, I think they have found creative ways to still be relevant in these times.

Anyway, back to story.

HI5 was all the rage and there she was…sly smile, discreet photos with family members and friends. There was nothing flamboyant or untoward about her. She just looked beautiful. She looked like someone who could get my Bank PIN.

I sent a friend request and it was ignored. Of course it would be, she did not know me from Adam, but I had a plan. An ill-conceived plan but a plan no less

“The Registry” came up with where she worked and it happened to be in “Town” and not too far from my office. Good Start.

So one day I found myself leaving my desk and taking a walk in her office’s direction. I ended up inside but could not get beyond the Receptionist. No problem. Minor set back. I called her desk from my phone and realised she was on lunch. So I sat on the Promenade and waited til she would pass back.

While sitting there and looking around at everyone passing by, then it suddenly hit me:


Nothing… I’m just taking a breather!


No it isn’t. I’m just waiting to catch a glance of someone I like.


Yeah but it’s not like if I’m gonna walk up to her now or anything.


In a minute. I just wanna see her in person…..


And with that realization, I got up and walked back to work. I looked around slowly to see if I would see her but no such luck.

Two years later, I’m at a friend’s wedding and there she is sitting a couple tables away , with no visible signs of having a date. I avoid eye contact for most of the night.

Heading to the bar a little later, we bounce up there. (I was at the bar first eh)

I turn to her:


(she nods)

(I go silent again)

Umm where do I know your face from?

Umm I sent you a friend request on Hi5 like two years ago but you ignored it.

No I don’t think that’s it! (confused look on her face).

(I laugh nervously and loudly then I stand there in silence wishing for an epileptic seizure to save me from putting my foot in my mouth)

Oh I remember, you are on that show on Gayelle!….

Oh yeah ( dies a little inside) Kinda.

The bald head guy is really sexy! I would love to meet him.

Oh ok.. well you all might bounce up since you go hiking a lot.(and then I change the foot in my mouth)

How do you know that?

Sorry someone is calling me. I’ll be right back.

Hear nah! I left that wedding faster than a vagrant with a valid BBQ ticket or Usain in an Olympic 100 metre dash. I just prayed that she spoke to no one at the wedding about our conversation.


There are many more stories, some worse, but most are mild. In the course of my life, I have gone through some serious learning periods. All in all, I just wanted to show that we all have our crazy moments. Most of us learn from them and grow, some just wallow in it for eternity.

I pride myself on learning from my mistakes.

“I’m a little more careful

Perhaps it shows.

But if I lose the high,

at least I’m spared the lows..”

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Posted by on September 21, 2015 in Uncategorized


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It’s All In My Mind!


I write this blog for protection. For you to be my witness. I know it may seem one sided but I have no reason to lie to you. Honestly, the contents of this blog are not made up and any resemblance to persons alive is INTENTIONAL!


On September 13th 2012, I wrote this status update on Facebook:

  1. Dear God,
    Can I safely assume that I am close to or at the limit for “Crazy/Mentally Unstable” people that you would bring into my life? Because I am pleading the Blood a little too often these days!
    Love Always
    Stefan (not Stefforn)

I had written it at that time because out of the blue someone who I barely knew had approached me to lend them $50,000 to buy a car. This person was not employed; they weren’t a relative or close friend. I barely knew them. Yet they insisted that I was the best person to help them because all they needed was someone to believe in them. Err and you chose ME?

When this offer was rejected, they came back a day later and asked for $1200 to do a personal training course. By this time I was flipping out as I could not understand why this person was harassing me.  Anyway, after telling them what they would have to do for the $1,200.00, the calls stopped coming.

Yes I know I could’ve just told them no and left it there but if “NO!”  didn’t work for $50,000, I needed something extreme that didn’t involve cursing to remove this potential parasite from my phone.

But that’s not the main story.

I have someone that has been trying to rekindle a “friendship” we had when I think Noor Hassanali was President.  It wasn’t much of a friendship in the first place and due to some dodgy behaviour on her part, I chose to ignore her (as I do with most people).

Over the last few months, she has started calling my phone (I would not answer the call), texting me (intermittent text responses) and now she has resorted to sending me messages via mail. No not email, but mail!

Can I point out that she knows where I live (I have NEVER invited her in or showed her where I live)? A month ago she left an envelope with my landlady  who handed it to me one afternoon after I had just parked my car. (Envelope shown below)

Envelope 1 – Can in a white paper bag

I never opened it. I have no intention of looking at its contents.

On Saturday 15th September, while I was driving out of the garage, my landlady told me that there was mail in the box for me and that she preferred not to touch it. I laughed when she said it but when I looked at the package, I understood why.

The package was placed in a Ziploc bag and to the front there was what appeared to be a piece of bush wrapped in paper with writing on the paper.

I don’t know about you, but my granny’s voice kicked in my head and said “Lambkin, dat bitch wah kill yuh!”

Envelope 2 (with bush)

So here I am.  Confused, slightly scared and totally thinking about moving.

I find myself, more than I used to before, praying. Not only praying but pleading “the Blood of Jesus” on my life and asking for protection from these unseen forces that seem to be bringing to “crazies” into my realm.

I know what you are thinking. I must have done something to encourage these people because no one would just opt to do stuff like that without some catalyst.

The crazy guy was the bad personal trainer that I had for all of two months who barely showed up for my sessions and always had an excuse why he couldn’t be there. Turns out it was because he was either training someone else or drinking with friends. He said he felt that I looked like a trustworthy person and he needed someone to believe in him.

He need to believe in Jesus because “In God We trust. Others Pay”

The second person is….not a friend. Not someone I was intimate with and it isn’t even someone that I brushed up against even suggestively. As far as I can remember I NEVER touched her.

She had sent me a text on July 10th, out of  the blue, saying:

“Want 2 get married and stay married unlike your parents or mine?! Start talking…shout….scream if u need, only say how u truly feel”

Apparently I said nothing and will still continue to say nothing.

There was a text in French as well but I wasn’t bothering to translate it and I deleted that madness as if it was a penis enlargement email.

I was advised that I should burn the letters or just throw them away. A guy in work told me to escort said letters to the nearest police station and report them as evidence of harassment. He believes if I report it first, it would go along way into saving my backside should she trip out and claim abuse later on.

I prefer to move. Sounds like the coward’s way out but this aint no Lifetime/BET movie where we rise above whatever. This certainly will not end with anyone dead on my floor and police lights blazing over the place and me wrapped in blanket sitting at the back of the ambulance. Nope, that stuff only happens in movies.  I need to protect my black ass.

What do you think?

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Posted by on September 17, 2012 in Emotions, Humor, RANT


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